Monday, November 20, 2006

Get drunk and write something deep

Becky just gave me homework: "Get drunk and write something deep". Well I'm wasted already (God somebody has to correct all these typing mistakes). Don't worry, I have a week off, I've been working hard for some time already, so I do have the right to be on holiday, both body and mind..

The comment came because I told her sometimes I'd like to share something deep. You know, I'm only telling "Went out, got wasted, had fun". With some pictures, it's fun, but sooner or later the joke wears out. Now the problem is, Finland is a small country. I'm not publicly out. I'm not afraid to get outed per se but I have public roles I prefer to keep separate from my tranny side. So I'm really carefull not to tell anything too personal where people could connect me too easily. Lot of people know me, but then I think actually they wouldn't care too much. They're actually quite cool bunch. Maybe I'm just worried too much. Maybe I should do something? Problem is I don't know of anybody in Finland who went public, and what happened. Well I've been giving my real name and phone number away to nice girls, so it's not a total secret either.

Now where was I?

Something deep. Is something personal as good? I'm out trannying and partying because I need happiness in my life. First of all, I used to have a good bunch of friends with whom we had incredible fun. Then everybody got 30, a wife and children. And suddenly nobody of them was doing anything anymore. I just can't understand how they turned so boring. Secretly I believe they will break out of their life routine when they're 50, but all the while I'm just quiet, smiling and accepting the once-a-year dinner invitation. Well first I wasn't quiet, and lost one good friendship. Then I learned.

Now secondly I'm vaguely in a similar situation. And I'm not totally enjoying it. Getting dressed, going out as Valerie - somebody totally different, is a liberating total break from the life routine that becomes too heavy sometimes. I can be without any background, any inhibitions, any worries. Just me, having fun. Getting wasted is a catalyst. I might earn VIP cards, but I know this is something that can't last. Maybe.

But in the mean time, Valerie loves everybody and everybody loves Valerie, and life is just incredible unbeatable unimaginable fun.

With famous words: Enjoy this post, I might delete will edit it tomorrow morning.

3 comments:

Joanna said...

Editing while sober is cheating ;)

Becky said...

LOL, yeah, cheater!

What happened to the bit about the police horse and the spatula?

Valerie S said...

@Jo: That's why you should read my blog during late night!

@Becky: Err... I still don't remember.. And I deny all such details ;)