Something new

Saturday was surreal, almost. I went with Milla to dtm as a boy. I didn't plan to go out but was in town, called Milla and things lead to another.. Milla told she felt like she was on a date or something. Well for me it was actually quite normal, except this time I could really dance some show-off.



That's my baby. I don't have to only listen to Dana from youtube, now I can play too. If you don't behave I'll sing. At your place.

Show must go on

Funny, today I was performing in same private party as Miss Divet. As a boy, you fools! Saw Divet's Drag Queen show just few weeks ago at dtm, and tonight she rocked the house. Judging from the screams audible to dressing room at least..

Tomorrow (or actually today) I have a theme party I toyed about going as Dana International. Maybe throwing a drag-queenesque show, even. That would have equaled as going out. I feel little bit disappointed, but as many things currently suck, I just don't have the energy to consider how it would en up, let alone how to do it.

Right now: Dana International/Diva (dance mix)
I cannot understand how I missed Dana when she was on peak of her popularity. I wonder where she is now?

Oh and I have a new fabulous toy! I'll post a picture when I get a new battery to my frickin' dead laptop.

Get drunk and write something deep

Becky just gave me homework: "Get drunk and write something deep". Well I'm wasted already (God somebody has to correct all these typing mistakes). Don't worry, I have a week off, I've been working hard for some time already, so I do have the right to be on holiday, both body and mind..

The comment came because I told her sometimes I'd like to share something deep. You know, I'm only telling "Went out, got wasted, had fun". With some pictures, it's fun, but sooner or later the joke wears out. Now the problem is, Finland is a small country. I'm not publicly out. I'm not afraid to get outed per se but I have public roles I prefer to keep separate from my tranny side. So I'm really carefull not to tell anything too personal where people could connect me too easily. Lot of people know me, but then I think actually they wouldn't care too much. They're actually quite cool bunch. Maybe I'm just worried too much. Maybe I should do something? Problem is I don't know of anybody in Finland who went public, and what happened. Well I've been giving my real name and phone number away to nice girls, so it's not a total secret either.

Now where was I?

Something deep. Is something personal as good? I'm out trannying and partying because I need happiness in my life. First of all, I used to have a good bunch of friends with whom we had incredible fun. Then everybody got 30, a wife and children. And suddenly nobody of them was doing anything anymore. I just can't understand how they turned so boring. Secretly I believe they will break out of their life routine when they're 50, but all the while I'm just quiet, smiling and accepting the once-a-year dinner invitation. Well first I wasn't quiet, and lost one good friendship. Then I learned.

Now secondly I'm vaguely in a similar situation. And I'm not totally enjoying it. Getting dressed, going out as Valerie - somebody totally different, is a liberating total break from the life routine that becomes too heavy sometimes. I can be without any background, any inhibitions, any worries. Just me, having fun. Getting wasted is a catalyst. I might earn VIP cards, but I know this is something that can't last. Maybe.

But in the mean time, Valerie loves everybody and everybody loves Valerie, and life is just incredible unbeatable unimaginable fun.

With famous words: Enjoy this post, I might delete will edit it tomorrow morning.

Meet Miss Bitch

My tits they have names. Last night two girls I was talking with named the left one Mitch and the right one Bitch. I know because this morning I found a 50e note where they had written it as a reminder, and Milla kindly explained what on earth it was about. Other than that, I'm afraid you have to ask Milla what happened when we went to Trans-Helsinki party at DTM yesterday. I was seriously wasted. Hello to everybody who had fun with me, apologies to everybody who didn't, even though I tried hard. I'll never drink again. Or at least I'll never fall in stairs again.

Miss Drag Queen 2007

So we went to see Miss Drag Queen 2007 competition in DTM with Milla. We had even invested in advance tickets. Problem was, it was a Wednesday night, middle of a hectic working week.. And as I'm unable to keep off VRB, it would be a rather hard working morning the morning after - but who cares, when there's a party?!?



We missed the deadline for pre-ticket entrance, but proudly overtook the respectable queue and what happened? The doorman showed us the VIP door, "but ok, if you want you can go there (normal entrance)"... Ooooh. Man, I feel like a VIP girl. Now I'm just waiting for the VIP card!

But so there was a competition with 11 contestants. It was the first time I saw a DQ comp, and I have to admit I was a bit surprised it wasn't very high level. Winner, NicoLa was definitely the most energetic performer, but many were not so special. When the comp started I was definitely feeling I should be on the stage... Watch for 2008..



Then it was party time and being a tranny in LGBT disco looked like paying off again: we ended up having a major dance party with some chinese girls, this time. And others. And I was told I was The Choice of the Audience - beating all the contestants on stage. Now that's a compliment!

After couple of hours sleep Thursday morning was not very glorious.. Now I have two problems: what to wear tomorrow for DTM party, and should I go as Dana International to a big Eurovision party with my long-time friends who have no idea I'm a tranny. Now that's a challenge.

Les Nuits Fauves

Time for reportage. Getting rid of the old headache, starting new with a bottle of red. Went last night to SMFR's fetish Halloween party in Kaisaniemi. I helped Milla with a tartan mini and cutie socks to create two almost identical schoolgirls. The party was quite nice, this time in proper restaurant so first of all there was a dj and music, and a bar. Two essential ingredients for a successfull night out. Mixed selection of people (good!) - half usual black pvc/leather fetish costumes, but also many Halloween style special costumes. Our schoolgirl effort was good, and we found an ultra cute girl who was going to the same school! Unbelievable!



Johanna was there (of course, what would stop her?) and introduced the legendary B.B. to me. Now B.B. is something I want to write properly later, but put briefly, she is the mother of all Finnish trannies, a boxing (and chess!) champion from already the 60's who went to army in mini and thigh high boots when it was illegal to pose as opposite sex and transvestites were either put to jail or mental hospitals. Actually I had met her briefly in toilet queue a moment earlier, but didn't know who she was. She was wearing a nazi officer costume. Yikes! Me the schoolgirl was a little afraid of her so I just mentioned things about bratwurst and lederhosen, the only German words I know..

But such is life, it all felt a bit too stable so I persuaded Milla to change place to DTM bar. Finland has it's own peculiarity, all popular bars just so have to have a queue in front of them. So we ended up queueing to dtm something like half an hour. In schoolgirl minis, in -10 oC.. But okay it was worth it, had lots of fun, made show, got to know new people. Looks like the bartenders remember us already. Is it good or bad?


I don't know if my subconscious mind is working, but Cyril Collard's Les Nuits Fauves has been going on my mind. Long ago it was one of my favourite movies. Don't get me wrong, my life is not quite that crazy, but somehow I cannot help thinking about it.