Thursday, September 10, 2009


Finally realized my plan to start yoga that had been lingering at the back of my head for ten years. Just had a starter but errr.. wow. After the lesson I was rushed by wave of emotions and was crying of happiness, lucky it was dark!
The instructor (who happens to be a rather foxy Estonian girl radiating well-being and happiness) warned us "quite a many yogis have been hard core party people but given it all up after getting into yoga". Time will show.

"Sow a thought, reap an act. Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a nature. Sow a nature, reap a destiny"

Monday, August 10, 2009

I'll be your one stop candy shop

Vogue en concert in Helsinki, first time ever.

So had my birthday with Miss Ciccone. And 100.000 other people.
Gosh I remember why I don't go to these mass concerts often! First of all Finns are so ice cool, no excitement or party spirit even Madonna is rocking the house!?! WTF? Why you come to concert wasting space if you just stand there like a fucking scarecrow? Second, two thirds of the people are just lame ass idiots, "wife forced me to come", "came with friends, drunk, because everybody is supposed to come", "I'm not watching, I'm filming the concert with my crappy mobile phone because I can", "I liked her when she released Holiday".. And ban for everybody over six feet or coming with a frickin bagpack!!!

Well to admit I was a bit disappointed. Haven't seen her live before but the DVD's of previous concerts & other artists beat Sticky&Sweet. Maybe Hard Candy isn't that good album either.. Problem is she's got so wide spectrum from her long career it's not easy to keep it tightly packed. Ok she did it by mostly playing new songs & remixes of oldies. Second problem, modern heavily mixed songs don't work that well on an open air 100.000 people concert, and Hard Candy doesn't really have great hits. Anyhow went there, saw her.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Birthday with Madonna

Will be having my birthday today at Mad's concert in Helsinki.

Yeah the nails dropped off so I'll report Sparkle, promise.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Waiting for my nails to fall off

Writing with these nails is such a pain I'll wait them to fall off before reporting Sparkle. Flew to Manchester, got drunk, had fun. Simples as they say.

hand job

Saturday, July 11, 2009


I'm at Sparkle. Come say hi!

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Situation: Normal, all f...

HEL- MAN - HEL tickets - check
The Place, 4 nights, 2 bedrooms - check
Tattoo session booked - check
Hairdresser & extensions booked - check
Gel nails booked - check
Write report about 1) Helsinki Burlesque where I went with skimpy PVC sailor outfit 2) DTM foam party I went in bikinis and err.. 3) Helsinki Pride, again in bikinis etc - mmm is there any more red left?

I'm still looking for a reporter to follow me to cover the adventures! Volunteers?

Hey, I'm on holiday. Yay!

PS: Jo, I so will bring you rollmops!
PS2: ...and I promised Jo to take it easy. Watch this space as they say!

Monday, June 29, 2009


All I can say is Phew, I survived my 3 weeks partygirl marathon and Pride which just finished yesterday with parade, picnic and parties. I'll write some proper report of this hectic week later but now just a quickie before going to sleep. Today I've been mostly carrying things around as I have new flat. Further away from DTM so I will not die of alcohol & dancing overdose and/or sleep deprivation ;) After 6 hours I need to wake up and get my honeybunny from the airport, she comes back to Finland. Crazy days are over, for the moment!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Vally soo ballyhoo

I know I've promised a zillion times I'll write about my adventures but but.. Mostly it just ends up in a short FB status message, an occasional flickr pic and some comment in Puuteri forum. As I have a Sunday morning lie-in I try to catch up on this week.

Thursday we hooked up ad-hoc with Patricia to go out. She's very nice but I've never had opportunity to go just two of us. Program was special because we stuck to normal bars! First to Baker's for their night starter special, 1e for glass of sparkling happy hour. That's my place! We managed to destroy several bottles' worth of the material. Then to one of Helsinki's most famous bars, Hotel Torni Ateljee Bar! Tiny panorama bar over the rooftops of Helsinki with special toilets: windows without any curtains opening over Helsinki. Had some glasses of sparkling there too and of course visited the ladies'.. Then erm.. we visited some more bars all around town before ending up in Kaarle XIII for the rest of the night. That's extreme I tell you, it's a place (especially on Thursday) for office people to party hard and look for one night stands. We fit there actually very well and had a blast. I'm afraid I did a crazy show again, judging from all the bruises and aching the morning after. Going home some man joined me and tried to talk me into having some intimate sessions. But as he was a bit worried if I'm really really a woman I politely told him to go to hell. What a blast, need to go more to mainstream bars!

Friday morning wasn't so much of a blast, I needed to go to work and I was simply dead (and thoroughly marinated) meat. Ouch.

Yesterday switched mode and had a huge dance party. I'll spare details for identity protection but let me just say it hell feels nice to still after some years be #1 dancer in country (in a certain subculture natch)..

Now waiting for tonight's burlesque party Helsinki to Honolulu via Hysteria. Should be grrrreat party - on a ship - with shipload of US performers, including Diamond Daggers, a queer vaudeville show group. I'm gonna make a bold move and wear my pvc sailor outfit from Amsterdam that covers about as much as a napkin of my body. That's why I've been running 10km sets and eating mostly salad this week ;) Pics will be delivered later. Helsinki Burlesque organisers Bettie and Kiki are the most awesome and lovely pair of ladies and they just love us tgirls coming to their parties.

Only problem is I'm not sure what shoes to wear, maybe I need to go look around shops today. My honey tries to point out I've got already hundreds at home (that's true, actually) but she doesn't really understand this shoe-thing. Every occasion needs it's own shoes and I'm definitely lacking pin up sailor pumps!

Some of these days I'm going to take a break from partying, but next weekend is midsummer fiesta and I'm organising girly party at my place, then next weekend is Helsinki Pride and I'm organising picnic in the park plus evening party to go and then Sparkle is around the corner..

Somebody give me second life.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Dress Sense

Fun to be in UK after almost two years. Two most peculiar things that make me feel like home: totally impractical, unusable taps (how many centuries to get them working?) and the girls' uberminiskirts downtown. My dress sense is out of scale in Helsinki but hey, nobody probably would notice me in UK.

I'm weighing if I'll be bovvered enough to put slap on and take the train tomorrow night to Paddington and do some wondering around town & maybe Trannyshack. Forecast for Thursday morning: very very painful headache plus the train tickets seem to be a pain in butt. Decisions decisions.. Small girl all alone in big town ;)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Reading Trannies

I'll be in Reading June 1-5. Any suggestions? Do they read trannies in Reading? Maybe I'll jump a train to Paddington and hit the big town.. Give me a shout if you're around.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

ESC 2009

19.45 EET

Four bottles of Cabernet Syrah - check.
Barbeque - check.
Sauna warming up - check.

All ready for tonight's Eurovision finals, watch this space for live coverage. Unfortunately my country house phone line seems to be dead so I'm hanging on mobile gprs connection..

While waiting, watch Swedish impression of Russians - I lol'd when I saw the Russian ESC show, it was just the same sans dancing bear.

22.00 EET On Air!
Cirque Du Soleil show is nice
So they've changed to 50% jury voting as they've noticed people vote for neighbouring countries - Balkans win anyone? 20 mini-nations...

Dima Bilal?!? Impressive entre!
His last year performance was very weird, I don't understand how he win - blame Balkans..

New hosts are much better! The semifinals bloke-host was an idiot.

Lithuania: Nice country I've visited for business many times - I like! A bit unconventional from the ubermacho ex-SSSR state with a taste of lgbt hatred.

Suspected to get into finals by jury votes. Boring song, bring me Dana International!

Ooh Patricia Kaas! It doesn't matter what happens in ESC, she's too big for it! Subtitles for the uncivilized of us ;) How nice of her to give her divine aura for earthly ESC - what a dramatic performance!!!

Beloved neighbour! What a strong blonde amazon! Nightwish style opera-singing.. I just might give my vote for SE..

Balkan style ubermacho stuff with male lead singer and number of female singers picked based on their outlook - wife comments "oh handsome!" - daah... "Holy Beauty"... Oh yeah... Not impressed. What? He sing about Tena?!? That's an adult diaper!!!

I love the country and culture but the song and band is funny! They have so much groovy styles why they don't use them? But all respect goes to relying on traditional style. Not many countries have the history to do that..

Island of fairytales - never visited but plan for long time. Mira mira.. Geysirs and ponies. 18-year singer does her best to present the exotic country. Nice in overall, but that's not enough we know, don't we?

Greek god Sakis. Greeks like to party! First proper party song :) LGBT points delivered, definitely! This is our night! Nice show but a bit lacking from winner performance. Ok Greek trip booked for this summer.

Core Europe singing. Why they say Armenia is always a sure bet for ESC finals? Why do we have these countries in ESC!?! After 5 years we have China and Thailand participating.

WTF, she is from Ukraine. Why she presents Russia? Slavic sad love ballad. No fear they win this year ;)

He live in Sweden since 10 - Azer or Swedish? Nice duo and song, but not really winner potential. Sorry Marina ;).

Bosnia - Herzegovina
Balkan ballad - seen that, heard that. Next. I do remember drinking a lot of tequila in Bulgaria and getting numerous new best friends from the Balkans - but their songs suck!

Arab style explosion one more time... OMG. Come see my country, come see our traditional dance style. I respect cultures and originality but IS ESC place for that?!?!

An island easily forgotten at the Mediterranean. What's nice and funny about ESC you get to be reminded of all the UN recognized states from Europe to the Eurasian.. Andorra being my favourite ;) Anyhoo Malta is standard pompouse ballad, see you next year.

Beloved southern cousins. They almost speak the same language. Only country to so such a wise move. Nice female band, and singing in Estonian! Props. Nice stuff, but too peaceful for ESC?

Ooooh Nordic cousins. Had Drag Queen last year or the one before. Props! Standard ESC song about love. Nice. Doesn't impress me though, much.

Evermost best-looking and groovy German I've ever seen! What a pity it's just 20% of hotness of official video. Do check it out! Unfortunately live performace will disappear in history...

Standard Turk show with belly dancing, Arab sounds and shouting. Winner stuff for ESC, naturally. Not impressed, sorry.

Geography classes taught Albania is the most disadvanteged country in Europe, communist state with bunkers and donkeys. They seem to have advanced, at least in regard of synthesizer music.

From Russia originally.. Hmm... WTF?!? OMG and they thought this fun stuff will win?

Be my valentine. Good Show! Looks like Ukrainians can make a party :) Maybe I should go there for a visit ;)

Props for use of samba-beat. Singing not so impressive. Grrrrrrl power.

Lloyd Webber aye! Tough stage for her as UK do awful every year. She is very very nice. About song I'm not so sure. And I was listening to Cats LP's since 10... Too simple song if you ask me: "Itäs my time" : ad infinitum...

Finland!!!! Vote for us!!!! I don't want to lose control.
Simple eurodance but NATCH it should win!!!

Nice dress and sexy song. Is it enough? Mixed Spanish and English. Hawt.

Haha Russian commentary from MIR: Asian comment: "They like to show power" - indeed.

Fuerza Bruta
I love these Cirque shows.. What an ingenious pool show! How nice from Chile!

How come Norway get winning points? Cannot get it..
WTF Sweden voting only 4 points for Finland? And I voted for Sweden.. But what is it really about Norway?!? It's not really an ESC song. Norway and Turkey leading oh yeah...

Norwegians are nice but their '09 ESC song is crap! What kind of people vote for them?

Norwegian win is a fact but mystery. Asian opinion is "they vote for gasoline". Congrats To Norway, see you in Oslo next year. Wine finished, over and out!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Alive and kicking

Maybe I should write something to prove I'm still alive.

Kind of hard to decide what to write about, lot's of things happening all the time. Life is good. Admitted, also Facebook is eating the urge, so much easier to just write a single comment to FB than sit down and come up with a blog post worth reading (and writing).

Did something new today: UFF second hand clothes shop has everything for 2 euros and we went with Tita & our spouses to check out. Not so much my style of shopping but actually I was very happy with the bag of finds I ended up with: very nice jeans, shirts and cool tartan skirt. My style, ok quality at 5% price. Wowsers. Maybe I start to visit those shops more, helps in keeping up two wardrobes.

Yesterday I went to DTM (again) with Tita & her crazy-lovely gf and some other friends. The 15e sparkling bottles made time fly and all of sudden it was 4am closing time. Why this happens to me always? Wednesdays and Sundays are quite nice though quietish because the primetime "hey let's go to see a gay bar" idiot turists don't bother. Curses of a successful gay bar..

Eurovision fever is rising with finals in Moscow on Saturday. Finland's Waldo is in finals, yay! Don't forget to vote them! :) DTM has been having special nights with all the semifinals, for some reason lgbt folk love ESC. Gonna be interesting to see how the planned Moscow Pride will go. If the Russian "Omon" special forces think of sabotaging it, they should look into mirror!

Btw, I'm coming to Sparkle, and might visit UK in June as well. Yay!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Twitter 2.0

Before continuing with other things, let me continue previous theme with an unashamed copy from my friend Joanna's blog..

After Twitter, here's Flutter!

Sorry & thanks Jo for this brilliant piece.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Social network congestion: why less is more

Flickr and Facebook have gone from hot to not. Does somebody still really use MySpaces? Twitter/Jaiku whatever really looks hot but they're just bollocks, a new momentarily adrenaline dose for the tired.

Social networking works when the network is small and smart. The moment it grows unmanageable to limits of human cognition (what do you really do with 2.359 contacts?!? Can you remember your common history with no. 1.703?) and quality plummets below mediocre all the networking effect wears off.

Flickr was cool when there was just trannyflickr with Miss K and Erika Baarova (ok perhaps a couple others too :), and it was a privilege to join. Now every picture gets ten invites "Add to my 'Blondes wearing pink lipstick and high heels while sitting on sofa' -group!".

I've read bright opinions how all this false "being connected 24/7 and having hundreds of friends all over the world" is actually worsening the quality of our social lives and more importantly prevents us to focus on anything, be it work, family, hobby, or a real social life. I strongly believe in the referenced fact that being good in anything requires long-spanning concentration more than anything. Would we have the relativity theories if Einsten Twittered his daily minutes of life? I give you Kathy Sierra, I really recommend reading it. And she wrote it two years ago!

"Coffee with your next-door neighbor could do more for your brain than a thousand Twitter updates."

To prove my point, take a look at this monster. Inspiration for this post and a picture from that enables you to send your status messages from web/mobile/social sites to all the major social networking sites. God bless us from the minor.

I'll go make a coffee and concentrate on my work.

On British blue eyes

According to a recent study 80% of Brits have blue eyes. Now that is news, at least to me! The rest of you probably knew it already?

Admitting being wrong is a sign of strength ;)

And when did Lady J change to a Pink Fluffy Duck?!?

Friday, February 20, 2009

Momentary lapse of reason

It's 1am, disco is open until 4am and it's all inclusive aka booze for free. And I'm back to room. Writing blog entry. Am I getting sensible or old? Or both?!?

I found out Turkey - based on a court decision - is banning Youtube because some Greek people have posted anti-Turkish material. Cool. I didn't say it to my Turkish colleagues, but really, is your nation planning to join EU? Are you sure you are ready for it? We have some concepts like human rights and freedom of speech that you might not be familiar with. Yet.

Personally I've always detested these all-inclusive luxury resorts and now I'm sure. Come on, a concentration camp without any outside people. Suicide. MIA. The German pensioners really don't know how to have fun.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Walk like a Brit

Jo, Becky, Mom!

All the Germans and French think I'm British.
What went wrong? Brits don't have blue eyes. Cake or death?!?

On Turkish specials

I will never ever ask a Turkish bartender for his special drink. Did that x N (don't remember anything about the night) and got everything destroyed. I say, I throw up very very very seldom, but now I did it all day. And I was still drunk 18 hours after finishing the last drink. Is that possible really?!?
It's next night and surprisingly everybody thinks I'm British + wasted = over + out.
Hey it's just me. Val.

Bloody Turkish ISPs have blocked Youtube ?!?

PS: you have no idea amount of concentration went for this blog entry! I had about 20 mojitos and a half tonight...

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Back in business

Spending a working week in five star resort in southern Europe. Today I realised just how much I've been missing traveling. I'll put down some of my thoughts later, now I'm too busy destroying the minibar, next diving to foam bath.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Dial B for Burlesque

It's the D-Day for Helsinki Burlesque Festival and I've organised a day for around 20 people. Tita just came to my place and we'll start preparing. First some shopping around town & some business visits, on evening we have dinner gathering and finally the actual burlesque party. I've been waiting for this, finally here!

And oh, yesterday I remade my gel nails with proper tips. Oooh they are wonderful!

Friday, January 30, 2009


Just retreated for a relaxing weekend at countryside and then DTM (manager who just got a new boyfriend and is utterly happy) announces they have tomorrow special night w/ sparkling wine 10e/bottle!?! Decisions, decisions. Missing today already Helsinki Burlesque goes Hehku (lebian girls monthly club).

I trashed myself last weekend totally, twice. Destroying a pair of high heel boots included. Is the capability to warm up while making up with 12 cosmopolitans an asset or liability? It surely is liability after entering the bar as my bills are always awesome. Problem is, after gaining speed there are no limits, I just keep going like duracel.

Anyhoo I think I had some point when I started writing (before all the glasses of red)..

I just had artificial gel nails done today. Nice and actually totally natural as I didn't take any extra length. Now I'll just sit and watch them growing naturally. I've been wondering the eternal issue of "advanced" CD's over and over again. It would be easy to be firmly on either side of the fence, but balancing the act in-between is a difficult job to do. For most of society you need to present yourself as normal, keeping up a perfectly satisfying heterosexual relationship but then in meantime present your feminine side and do it good. Going forward with plucked brows, full-body shaving, artificial nails, ear (and other) piercings, lasering beard etc inevitably makes your appearance more and more feminine. Entering no-man's land where your old mates just might start talking behind your back. Where you start to wonder if you want to hang around with the old any more.. I haven't faced anything but I'm well aware of the fact that my outlook is lingering the border of.. non-conventional. And the problem is I've only started! I'd love to do many many more things. But still I'd like to repair my 4x4 and go hunting. On surface it looks like modern society is accepting about sex roles, but when it comes to a man with good dress sense, high heels, artificial nails, and arguing about transmission overhaul.. Not really.

Lady Gaga: Poker Face

PS: the title is a theme of this week's biggest job assignment: World's #1 consulting we-know-everything organisation is calling me all the time being lost how to create a certain architecture. Aaaargh. Talk about balancing act between knowing all the details of enterprise IT architecture and smoke eye makeup techniques. And more. *sigh*

Monday, January 26, 2009

I die after every party

I will never again get trashed night before I need to work in the morning. I will never again get trashed night before I need to work in the morning. I will never again get trashed night before I need to work in the morning. I will never again get trashed night before I need to work in the morning. I will never again get trashed night before I need to work in the morning. I will never again get trashed night before I need to work in the morning. I will never again get trashed night before I need to work in the morning. I will never again get trashed night before I need to work in the morning. I will never again get trashed night before I need to work in the morning. I will never again get trashed night before I need to work in the morning.

Had sushi & champagne housewarming yesterday and went out to DTM snuggle Sunday. Enough said?

Friday, January 23, 2009

Real time

Yay! It's happening again. You remember what happened last time? It's Cosmo #3 going and it ain't gonna finish anytime soon..
Epilator is the devil's revenge for women!
But I try to switch for that as razor shaving makes my legs go all blisters, looking I have like plague or something...
Frickiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin hurts! 4 days growth makes me suffer seriously! I think I need Cosmo #4!
We have a winner! At worst moments I was concentrating on Khmer Rouge concentration camps and repeating "Pain is only my imagination". First prize: Cosmo #5
So we were supposed to hit town with Timi but she couldn't come. Now I have full party stock all to my own. Or actually, had. Let's see tomorrow if anything's left.. My 2008 DTM vip expired, let's see if I get new one tonight. Yes I haven't been out for ages!!!
We have reached cruising altitude: alcometer says 1.1%%
There's a new LGBT bar in town called Feeniks!?! Need to go check it sometime.
-> shower
Cosmo #6
Ready for make-up but hey, nobody's downtown before 23 so what's the hurry? Cosmo #7 and Ministry of Sound. I usually take shower, shave, dress, and only dressed start to do make up. Also practical as it would be inconvenient dress up with all slap on. I'm not bothering about my nails as they are all fucked up anyway. I will go next week to have gel artificial nails *promise*
Alcometer is all "HI" meaning > 2%% after cosmo #7 - but hey machines lie anyway (see Eddie Izzard)
Cosmo #8 - btw I'm not just sitting and getting berusad, I'm chatting in Puuteri and Facebook - busy!
Valerie's "I iz cheapo" lip-tip: Asian tiger palm. It contains cajuput, cinnamon & clover oil - guaranteed to make your lips swollen = fuller :P PS: I just invented that myself!
Honey is dressing & making up, I'm having Cosmo #9 + chatting + partying (Kelly Rowland: Work [Freemasons Remix])
Cosmo #10 & Armin van Buuren : Imagine!
I'm made up! So beautifuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul!
Cosmo #11
Back home
Is it ok if I just die?
10.12 am
Just woke up. Had a fun night out but surprisingly quiet at DTM yesterday - that's why we finished before closing time. Very very easy nowadays to go there as I have a flat just three blocks away. No more suffering in taxi queue or arguing who's the designated driver. Now smoothing music, tomato juice and hot bath in candle light with my honey baby, later off to country house for total relaxation and sauna. Tomorrow we'll host a kind of house-warming party here for friends and go for DTM snuggle Sunday. Over and out!

-*- Cosmopolitan -*-
1.5 cl Triple Sec(Cointreau)
1 cl Lime juice (sweet)
3 cl Cranberry juice
2.5 cl Vodka