Saturday, December 30, 2006

Valerie Awards 2006

It's time to draw conclusions about 2006.

It has been an overwhelming year for me. In January I started going out, ending up being the party tranny for the latter half of the year. With a VIP card to nation's #1 LGBT night club. I was nervous, unsure of what I'm doing and 2006 made me a confident girl loved by all. Internationally. (Okay there was this one drunk Finnish girl who didn't like my hair). Internet, namely flickr and blogs are marvelous things. Big hug to all friends and contacts in the net who've been giving positive feedback all year. Biting the bullet and going to Sparkle in June was one of the best things ever happened to me. I have to thank two UK trannies, Jo and Becky for the instant acceptance and respect we've had. Your friendship has been one of my most valuable assets. Also originally the year before, finding Becky's blog and the rest of UK scene from there, was the trigger to drive me out and experiment with real looks. To know that trannying can be fun.

Workwise I shouldn't complain. I have total freedom being my own boss, clients tell me I'm irreplaceable and I'm asked to work around Europe. And still. I have this itching I've been working on my field enough. It's pretty boring. Any open positions for a tranny party-a-gogo?

Unfortunately on personal front the year was a rollercoaster ending with a crash and burn. Had to get that off my chest with the previous post. It can be a pain for my loved ones but I'm a wild animal, getting anxious and frustrated feeling caged. 2007 will have a definite positive edge. For me, any change is better than nothing happening at all.

But where was I? Oh yeah, the..

Valerie Awards 2006

Best Tranny Event: Sparkle, Manchester UK
Best Tranny City: Manchester, UK
Best Tranny Organisation: UK Angels
Best Tranny Blog: Becky's Web
Best Tranny Publication: Alice Novic: Alice In Genderland
Best Tranny Bar: DTM, Helsinki
Best Drag Queen Show: Les Femmes, Finland
Best Tranny Clothes Supplier: H&M
Best Tranny Foundation: Joe Blasco
Best Tranny Mascara: L'Oreal Volume Shocking
Best Tranny Drink: Vodka Red Bull

Hello Kitty

Have an energetic 2007!!!!!!!

Primal Scream: Country Girl

I will.

Finnishing the year

Had my New Year party with Milla yesterday. Need I say I got seriously wasted?

Highlights of the night: I almost got into a girlie rock band! The band girl was all for it but manager girl wasn't so it didn't happen. Had I had my Hello Kitty photo with me things could be different. The manager complimented on Milla's "librarian looks" which Milla wasn't too happy about. But it must have been a compliment as she looked like a librarian from the 50's herself. Oh and then there was this Betty Page looking supacute girl too. Again i tried to buy drinks for the bartenders. Again I was completely sure I've lost my handbag only to find it from somewhere. After the party we went to eat kebab in the crowded neighborhood restaurant, and nobody blinked at us. Today I found out I had been given wrong jacket on leaving. I don't know how that poor girl spent her night but I had her iPod, camera and home keys for sure. Sorry.

Bye 2006

But the girl band. I'll have that as my goal for 2007.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Interrupt in Standard Programming

My memories of UK are my sister studied there, as a teenager I came to see her BA graduation and bought my first own computer from Selfridge's. Then nothing, I was traveling all around the world but not UK.
Mostly because of trannying during the last year I've been there four times. Seems like next year I'll be there at least the same. Last time I was working there for a week, with so called normal people as colleagues and clients.

Stop moaning. Your country is cool. It's multicultural and accepting. Maybe even unique when it comes to trannying. Good mid-way when it comes between Nordic (overtaxed) wellfare societies and no-social-security DIY countries. You have frickin good standard of living, if you study and work hard enough. Same job here you drive a beamer there a Porsche. Good midway between cold and hot climates. (Ok maybe you're not prepared to either extreme but who prohibited you from preparing?) Virtually everybody speaks your native language. We have to study two foreign to get started. You have active part in the world and take positions in world affairs. Your press is the highest ranked (and I don't mean the yeallow press!). And you have Richard Attenborough. And Dr. Who. And 007.

And you have the coolest club culture. I realized it last time I was in Manchester. All they were playing were frickin Brit dance/club hits, and it was uninterrupted fun.

Just why do you think reindeers can fly so Santa can come on your roofs? And how would he fit your chimneys? And why would he put pressies into socks? SOCKS? On Christmas Day? He comes from the door and gives them personally, on Chirstmas Eve. Get real.
Otherwise, I love UK. Well ok the two taps freak me out. And the strange electric plug.

As an officer, I can understand reasons for driving on the left side. Although they have been outdated for 100 years.

It was no joke I said after Sparkle I'm looking for a job in UK. Just have to get rid of my accent. Will work for food (and clothes from H&M). And the Porsche.

PS: I registered valerie_s_ts@no.spam. It's a joke alright after a long chat with Milla and Mr. Smirnoff (specially long and personal!), but still... Should I start worrying?

Tiesto: Dance 4 Life

Actually, in name of cultural exchange I give you Redrama: Street Music. Finnish hip hop from Helsinki, the city I live in.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Have a Cheeky Christmas Night!

So I was asked to come work in Manchester for the week before Christmas. Couldn't resist as it would mean full access to the Village bars on company expenses.

For Wednesday I had checked the local tranny society Northern Concord were having their weekly meeting. Good starting for the night, maybe able to find some new party friends. They were very warm and welcoming - and immediately trying to recruit me. Sorry, it was only my second time in Manchester ever, so maybe not realistic :-) Night was a little quiet as just the week before they had their great Christmas ball. Anyway I was able to hook up with a bunch of girls who were going for dancing later on. First and foremost Marolyn and June (who was actually fom London), two fun and good looking girls. Changed places to Napoleon's which we missed with Jo in the last Sparkle due to overwhelming queue. Naps seems to be the #1 place for trannies in the village. The atmosphere was a bit like Way Out Club, if you ask me. After an hour or two of drinks and dancing we went with June to Cruz 101, a gay club popular with students to dance the night off. The party was getting hotter all the time but Cinderella had a working day so I had to escape back to hotel and managed to get 3 hours of sleep. Needless to say I was a total zombie at work.


Friday night was reserved for partying, but unfortunately all the trannies seemed like staying home for Christmas. Not me! So I headed to Canal Street and AXM bar. Plan was to later try out the lesbian bars Coyotes and Vanilla. AXM was clearly just a starter for the night, and worse, no trannies around. After couple of drinks I all of a sudden had company and continued with part of the plan, the rest totally unplanned. And err... err... Ended up walking out of some hotel 6 am to get home, pack and take a taxi to airport. Oh a zombie day again! Had no problems sleeping in the plane whatsoever.

To celebrate the second coming of Cheeky Girls I'll link to
Cheeky Girls: Have a Cheeky Christmas. Also because lately I've been called several times a cheeky girl. Must be because of the accent?!? ;-) - Cheeky Cheeky!

Have a Cheeky Christmas Night all!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I have a party in my house: Viisi Millaa, viisi sataa

Dana: Cinque Milla. I'd be ready to change places any day. If you'd ask me to make a show today, it would be this one.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


Only after opening the door to my room I realized how much I'd experienced. Valerie wouldn't exist without Sparkle. Manchester. The Place. Jo Becky Jane Fiona Canal Street Jessica Sophie Vicky Bella Dr Who Veuve Clicquot Tesco Express Debenhams Alice Kim April Leah Laura Siobhan VIP hot baths Lamb's navy rum UK dance classics. Pink lingerie. Lesbian bar. AXM The View Coyote. Vodka Red Bull was invented here. And all the rest who went unmentioned.

I'm an UK Angel. Forever. Because.

Now what can I do for Sparkle 2007?

I overheard being described as "very cute" by a girl client on the phone. I was asked how come I speak so fluently (I don't!) so I guess I'm doing ok. Guy from Poland asked when I'm giving the advanced course in UK, he wants to sign up. Now wish I have more gigs to UK.


Valerie is on pilgrimage to her birthplace. I desperately have to find a plug adapter to report you back. Battery is finishing. Life is good. Codeword: Taps with two handles. Lesbian bars. Lamb's Navy Rum.

Feels like home

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Eurovision Countdown

Did you know Eurovision 2007 tickets went on sale this Monday? Thanks to Mr. Lordi, in Finland. Were you queueing? W00t? Anyway, any tranny coming, I will provide for food and shelter. Guaranteed.

Very rarely I have a feeling that I have totally missed something, but today Husky Rescue beat me. First of all, anybody coming to Finland (like Eurovision next April or May(whatever!)), check their Nightless Night as a primer. Sorry, you have to be Finnish to understand all the layers of irony contained. Besides, the video could be shot in my my backyard garden party. If I had any. Sounds included. So welcome.

Anyway, Finnish music is a lot more than Lordi and I'm happy to promote some. The original reason was seeing their "City Lights" which is a Valerie song, unfortunately not online that I know. But then their New Light of Tomorrow kicks me in the belly.

I'm sorry I'm getting more and more Fairly Odd. Last week I destroyed my 5 years' stock of vodka, red wine and champagne. Although I'm not everyday stereotypical Finn, I am when it comes to the basics. I feel like home drinking vodka and getting ubermelancholic watching/listening to sad songs that sync with my mental state.

It's not yet the time to draw conclusions about 2006, but it's been a rollercoaster. I am sure 2007 will be better.

If you take the effort to read my blog, go watch the videos. At least you will not find them anywhere else. And they are essential if you want the Total Valerie Experience (tm). Don't know why, but I'm communicating best through music and visual media. Well if a picture is worth 1.000 words a video is at least worth 24.000 words a second. And then the sound, 96.000 words a second more? Don't know if anyone's understanding though...

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Manchester revisited

Yay! I'll be in Manchester working for the week before Christmas. Fancy a party, anyone? Any information on possible entertainment appreciated!

The Zutons: Valerie

Thanks Joanna for sending me the link ages ago..

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Keeping the faith

Keeping the faith

Tai Oratai - Kau Jai Gun Now

Later, some psychiatrist will see a consistent pattern in my posts...

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


This will be my most personal post. Ever.
Depeche Mode: Halo
It's all in the lyrics.


Yesterday was party time at dtm. Doubly so, SMFR Finnish Independence Day (6.12.) fetish preparty upstairs and Jarkko & Osku Showhat drag show on main stage.

Many have said Jarkko & Osku are the best drag queens in Finland, having even performed in the presidential Independence day festivities in the palace, so I was looking forward to it. And was disappointed. The show is ok, but for several reasons didn't spark me. Main reason is it is done for mainstream audience. The characters they portray are always exaggarated, put too much humour into, and partly even ridiculed. Ridiculing feminitity is one field of doing drag, but it's not into my taste. This way the Joe Normal can laugh at the show without having second thoughts is it okay to have fun watching men in womens' clothing. They don't put the full effort into really portraying the characters. The show is too long and repetitive. The ninth standard playback performance of a random female popstar doesn't really give much added value. They had some nice features like "Miss Intelligence", four Paris Hiltons on stage and then Pink coming to perform the Stupid Girl. The overall theme was Eurovision, so Lordi was featured as well, but it was mainly a joke too long.. They have been giving the show at cruise ships and casino dinners, so it is meant to be enjoyed while drinking, chatting and eating with friends at the table. Doesn't work in a packed nightclub with standing crowd. Sorry Jarkko & Osku, but I wasn't impressed. Les Femmes stays #1.

So the actual party? The SMFR party upstairs was better than usual, maybe my grown self-confidence and the fact some people start to remember us helps too. Had some nice and funny chats, a lovely female domme (who's into trannies) was shocked to find I wasn't obedient at all. But what can you do when you own more whips and walk higher heels than she? To compensate I donated Milla for some spanking. And they were enjoying it all...

Mostly weird (very normal youngsters) audience on main floor, looked like a elementary school class trip. Normal audience usually equals less exciting party, because they quite don't know how to relate to trannies when they have their first encounter of their lives. At the end of the night I hooked up with an ...interesting bunch. Some Finnish girls, Asian guys and a ladyboy from.. I thought Brazil and talked my brasileiro with her, but was obviously too wasted because I didn't first realize she was Thai. Well then I talked Thai with her. (No it's not a joke). But Thais don't have curly braided hair so she was actually trying to pose as Brazilian, quite usual manouver for Thai (ladyboys) abroad. Had invitation for some crazy continuation party, but as I realized they were a bit too much into drugs I decided otherwise. And my take-me-home service Milla agreed strongly.

Sexy Back

Playing: Justin: Sexy Back