Saturday, February 23, 2008


In the city of sin and angels
where the devil always walks next to you
and the pearls ain't free
I fell for your tropical eyes
smile joy crazyness pure heart and goodness

Now I cannot get rid of this feeling
having lost a piece of my heart
craving to be complete
day and night

Vinylshakerz: One night in Bangkok / Iio: Is It Love

Restless heart

I've been a bit down as in addition to last Saturday's episode I've had a very very bad infection taking me to hospital Sunday & Tuesday nights.. Things are much better now although the original reason and resulting effects remain still unknown. My advice: don't get terribly sick in Netherlands outside office hours. I have to wait until I get back to Finland to get proper examinations.

On more positive front all my things were found in the theater as I suspected. Should get my laptop tomorrow here in Amsterdam.

All this mess has resulted in some reflection and two resolutions: I stop a) drinking like an idiot and b) irresponsible (sex) life. (Well b) I did on New Year already but now it's official). There will always be more alcohol (and other substances) and sex partners than I can possible consume. Time to draw the line. Maybe it took so long getting adult but I feel my restless heart got tamed a little. And I've seen who really care for me and am grateful for that. Some big questions going around my head got answered as well and all this has helped to see what path I want to take.

I promise to be about as much fun but lot less dangerous to myself and surroundings :)

Today I'll go see the masterpieces at the Rijksmuseum and have dinner with customer instead of smoking weed and trannying around Rembrandtplein nightclubs. But I'll do that some other time ;)

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Real Time

I have been lazy blogger for a month again so let's do something new: real time blogging! It's a full course tranny night in Helsinki tonight again. I'm going to theater with a dozen other trannies and some spouses, then eat in a restaurant and continue to wee hours at Mama.

13.30 Checked in to hotel. I decided to get a hotel room for convenience. I don't have permanent base downtown and the hotel's optimally located opposite the theater and just some blocks away from DTM. Even I should be able to walk back even though it's gonna be freezing tonight! Winter finally arrived to Finland looks like. It was -12oC at home this morning.

14.15 Went to grab couple big macs, I'm dying. Yeah I do eat shit sometimes. Waiting for Tita who's due to arrive in an hour or something. If she manages to pack. Nice to have free wlan in hotel. Middle European hotels suck with their 20e/day internet "facilities". I hope I packed everything. As it's a proper theater night I'm gonna have my long black evening dress. Actually very same I had last fall at DWC Hauho meeting. Funny this is the 2nd time in my life I participate with DWC and I'm having exactly the same clothes. Did I forget to mention it's a DWC theater night? Well what the heck why not..

15.20 I've finally found perfect transport solution for girl gear: Bundeswehr military bag! Big enough to fit everything, long enough to fit thigh high-boots as well. And looks cool! No more plastic bag hell.

15.30 Finally Miss Nervous Bad Packer calls she arrived at lobby.. Here we go again..

15.45 Shopping ->

16.30 Back. Mmm... Magnum sparkling and salmiakkikossu. Alcohol, my favourite drink. Now going to bath. Elina the photographer wants to join us. Mai mii panhaa.

17.15 I'm wasted like a fish in a rhum barrel.. Now hot bath and cool sparkling!

Things are going pretty bad. 100-0 wasted, passed out 2 times, loads of stuff lost... we are now at hotel and call it a day. Maybe someone will tell me the details of the night tomorrow?
(This post is made by Titania, due Valerie`s wasted condition.)

11.17 Oops, I did it again. To sum up quickly I managed to lose my handbag again last night: credit card, driving licence, phone and camera gone again. I do hope I dropped them in the theater but unfortunately it's closed on Sundays. And I'm flying to NL in 4 hours. OMG. Play started at 19 but we managed to enter only for the second half as usual. The play, Le Cage Aux Folles, was ok (although I don't remember much). Then we went to eat in a restaurant, where I realised my missing items and got my night ruined. Very intelligently I went to walk around downtown looking for it - and then forgot what was the restaurant where we were.. What an episode. I tried to convince Tita to continue in dtm anyway but she decided to call it a night. Now I really really pray my handbag is in the theater.

Some positive news: I will get my stolen laptop back next week in Amsterdam.