Thursday, July 24, 2008

Search engine bigotry

Just how deluded can somebody be?

I am an admin for a Finnish TG discussion forum, and one thread is recommendations about good webshops for clothes shopping. The forum is strongly moderated family safe, no questionable content. I recently got this email:

Dear Webmaster

We have discovered that you are linking to our website,, on the following URLs: ...
(several links to the thread)

Please would you remove the links to our website. Will you please confirm by email that you have received this email and the links have been removed.

Kind regards,

First I thought just to ignore this nonsense, but I was too intrigued and replied:

Dear Jeremy,

I'd be utterly interested to hear an explanation for such a strange contact?

You've set up a web site and search for anybody linking there, and wish you are not mentioned or linked by anybody? I've been working with the web since the first web browser in 1993, and never met anybody (outside China) with your interest.

with regards and uttermost interest,

Now the thing is getting interesting:

Hi Valerie,
We're currently in the process of optimization (SEO) and as part of this are removing all links to our site that are damaging our ranking. Sadly yours were doing this, so I have to ask you to remove them.
Many thanks,


So excuse me? You have hired some hulabalooba SEO optimizer consultant / read a 5c book on the topic, and decided people discussing about your shop in some discussion forum (in a language totally foreign to you) is degrading you?
And, as a solution, you decide to send a polite email asking to remove the link, i.e. remove the discussion about you. Essentially, you want the discussion forum to censor any mentions about your website because it so unfortunately doesn't improve your search engine rankings? WTF?!?

How out of your mind can you be?

Did you already write to The Guardian and New York Times and asked them to remove several articles, also from already published papers? I recommend you shut your frickin website if you don't like losing control who's linking and writing about you. Or move to China and start gaining reputation in The Party. I just cannot give better advise than if you are so out of understanding what Internet is, you shouldn't consider taking the task of search engine optimization.

OMG. So appalling a company with such a history seems to have lost contact with reality.

PS: the discussion was recommending the shop, but as a result I'll add information that the people running it might just be too strange to do business with..

Friday, July 18, 2008

In my shoes

Disclaimer: I'm sorry dear readers - if there still are any - that I'm so much more inclined to venting about disasters than documenting the sunny side. Yes I am the merry-go-happy partygirl but it's so easy to move on with good things business as usual, and have a strong urge to get moody thoughts out. So, if partying is all you want, skip and look forward into reading next entry. Or take a drink or something.

My girlfriend from some time ago from other side of the world called me. She's got HIV she told, crying most of the time. I've gone to tests regularly so I'm sure I'm clear. I quite couldn't get if she just wanted to inform me and to talk with somebody who cares, or if there's something else. Anyway, my spouse (who knew the story already) got utterly mad at me for asking to send email and explain what has happened and what is her situation. Ex-relationships can die in hell pleading for help whatsoever if she can decide. Instant domestic crisis, just add reason for jealousy. Both parties happen to be from same Asian country. Yes I've told already I appreciate very much the chance to drink very deeply from the cup of life.

Not sure what to do, but if the story is true (sorry for scepticism but for all things counted, cannot be ruled out) it's hard to ignore. As a western wellfare bastard HIV is just a disease requiring regular medication, but for the less fortunate parts of the world it more or less means end of life, unless you happen to be part of the high society. Further crisis ahead. Looks like I haven't been blessed with normal life.

I'm not looking for a clearer conscience
Peace of mind after what I've been through
And before we talk of repentance
Try walking in my shoes
You'll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

Depeche Mode: Walking in my shoes

Friday, July 11, 2008

112 is a joke

Mmm.. I feel so lousy. I've enjoyed so much reading blogs about interesting characters like Karol and Becky, but I'm too lazy to report diligently about my whereabouts. I guess I would be occasionally capable to hit the front page..

Last weekend we had a Puuteri regatta. So what is Puuteri? It's my Finnish Angels-inspired transgender forum/chat site with currently about 350 users and 3.000 messages - in a language territory of 5 million people, after 9 months!
Anyhow, 2 girls from the forum wanted to arrange a regatta. The date was bad for me as my boat was not available but we decided to join with my newlywed wife on short notice. Now believe me, I'm no amateur to sea. And I'm no amateur to alcohol. OMG bad combination. We boarded Saija's fabulous boat and headed to sea in fair weather. After unsuccessfully trying to spot THE Finnish nude beach we waited at sea for the other yacht to join us. After joining we enjoyed some delights like my newly invented rhum-strawberry yoghurt - what landludders couldn't drink it, it was delicious! I went to swim (+16oC) and was intimated to numerous photographs on the occasion. Well we did have some decent delights like salmon sushi as well..
Next we headed to a nearby island for a picnic. To put a story short, we made barbeque, annoyed all other people and our captain got terribly, terribly drunk (i.e. lying down for half an hour trying to get back to boat). We managed to drag him onboard and hide from stares from neighboring yachts. It looked like I had to take command of the ship, so we first proceeded to home harbour to fetch my girlie stuff. Bringing it onboard I dropped into the sea. Hooray. Then I commanded the invincible armada to a pier located conveniently near to my favourite club DTM.
I marched my 7-something bandits into the bar (disregarding the 2 block queue - I'm a VIP hey?!?) and on with the party.. Oh we did help one homeless alcoholic into the caring hands of Finnish police forces, narrowly escaping ending up spending the night with the coppers ourselves as well..
Very very unfortunately a member of our party fell all his 150kg's on me, standing on my feet. My ankle twisted and gone in pain.

Where would I be without friends? They take care when everything else fails. 112 (or 911 for yanks) was refusing to send an ambulance, one tranny with destroyed leg is not a reason enough in Finland. Impossible to get taxi. My friend managed to catch a bike taxi. Fucking hell! I'm living in one of the most appraised developed country, paying 2.000€+ /month taxes and when my leg is destroyed I get to a hospital with a chance luck of finding a riksha! Ooh I spent some 3 hours of the Saturday night in the one and only Helsinki ER hospital. Got Xray, no broken bones so all I got was walking sticks. Welcome again to the wellfare society. Nothing, for fuck's sake. Wait 3 hours in hospital with terribly pain and all I get is walking sticks, as I've got no broken bones. Oh well.
Looking back, it was funny experience, sitting there in wheelchair for hours in fishnets and mini with all those bleeding ER patients.
I retreated to a friend's flat nearby to die slowly with pain. My ankle was totally destroyed and the pain I got was monumental. I ate painkillers like.. hares eat grass? My dear wife luckily has a driving licence, we gathered our things in the morning from the yacht and drove back home. All plans for my holiday destroyed.

So, a normal night out again.
This weekend ER, next weekend - what? (If I can walk already?)

Wasted, moi?

Eve: Tambourine