Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Wish I was there

It's +-0 and all kind of trash is coming in from all directions.
I hate November. God I wish I was back there.


Thursday, October 26, 2006

Espresso, champagne, vodka rb, and my other addictions

Err.. Do I owe an explanation? I'll try one now that I've grounded.

Miss Divet

We went out with Milla on Friday to DTM, our place of choice. I felt like a party girl and wore appropriate clothes. After last weekend's french maid success I felt happy and ready to kick ass. Also, Milla was driving so I had both hands free to indulge in happiness. Well, nobody ended driving actually. There was Miss Divet Drag show including some dancers. Show was nice, though not nearly as energetic as the Les Femmes earlier. Not so crowded night, but we ended up having the time of our lives in excellent company.

Ended up sleeping 3 hours before putting slap on again for Saturday night, this time a girls-only party in Kaisaniemi. We had forgotten the whole event but Johanna reminded about it on Friday night, so some rescheduling of plans. After long evaluation of our physical state we decided to go, and it was well worth the experience. What do you expect girls to do when they have a party without men? Well, they get totally wasted, go wild, some end up fighting and others pass out.. Sounds a bit blokey to me? To be honest quite many looked like that too ;-) I was afraid I will get beaten when I walked in all dolled up with my stiletto boots and miniskirt, but the experience was very nice, had many nice chats with girls and ended up dancing a lot.

Live another night

Tuesday night we went to check out again the local trans-support coffee night. Was nice to meet Anne, and have a chat with Johanna. Oh she is a dirty mouthed slut. But nice and funny one.

Whoah. In two weeks+ I was in London TX & Way Out Club, a french maid in fetish party, had the most remarkable night out in supanice'n'crazy company, continued the party with lesbians the night after and then went to cool down in coffee night. I think I put my trashed mop to rest and try to live a normal life for a while. You know, working and paying bills and things like that..

I've been watching this over and over. It makes me smile and think of the past weekend.

Sunday, October 22, 2006


This weekend managed to exceed any imagination what it means - or can mean - to be a tranny. I think I have seen a glimpse of rock star life..

Just why do so many women think trannies are hawt?

Somebody get my feet back to ground before I float to outer space. Or apply to Idols.


Honestly, I'm in awe how great life can sometimes be. I'm in love with everything.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Friday, October 20, 2006

Men and mice

Last Saturday was a bit special, we went with Milla to Bizarre Club fetish party in Jyväskylä, some 300kms north of Helsinki. I've been to kinky parties several times before so I wasn't particularly excited about that, but never dressed as girl so it was a new experience. Why I was looking forward to the occasion is that in ordinary places one has to have some limit to the choice of clothes.. And I wanted to do Tranny French Maid. Isn't that a classic?

Maid's night out

We had bought identical pvc maid outfits from Honour with Milla. Problems started with the petticoat. The dress is too short to be worn by any tranny without a petticoat (just ask Becky!), and a proper maid calls for a generous petticoat. But they were nowhere to be found! Some prospects were spotted in goth clothes stores, but imagine the choice of coulours: black, black, black...

Desperate situations call for desperate solutions, so I googled "how to make a petticoat" (now stop laughing about those crazy search phrases!) and bought 20m of tulle on Friday afternoon. I found a marvellous site explaining how to make ballet tutus, which is just the most voluminous petticoat you can imagine. Actually too voluminous, I put only half of the layers into it and the maid's dress was already pointing to the sky...

We had also visiting star with us, Johanna, a nice young fetish tv who was too shy to get involved in any photos - not so shy in some other aspects. The party itself was a bit bummer, not many people, no program or shows, mainly sitting and staring and occasional performances that always attracted a crowd. So we had a jolly threesome, I was serving champagne and we were killing time. Oh and I broke a heart again, one lady just couldn't keep me out her mind (or fingers). Somebody told I look like Samantha Fox, in a good way. w00t!? I should be so lucky, lucky lucky lucky, I should be so lucky in love..

Quite many tv's present, all sorts. In Finland the kinky/fetish parties tend to be THE place where trannies go out and many don't venture outside that world. Which is a big shame, if you imagine a young tranny coming out. What is the image she gets? Now don't get me wrong, fetish and kinky parties can be a lot of fun, but too often it's semi-nervous, semi-ashamed standing without much socialising, surrounded by all sorts of freaks in pvc, rubber and leather. If trannying gets identified with this scene it's not gonna be something to be shared with the wider public. Fetish parties are a good place to try your wings (I did that!) because it's an accepting environment, but I pray trannies wouldn't stop there. Problem is there are no tranny clubs or nights out in Finland, it's a huge step to go into ordinary lgt nightclub.

After the party 3 a.m. we stopped on the outskirts of Jyväskylä to grab some food and coffee for the trip home. Johanna was scared because she didn't have any non-pvc change clothes, unlike me and Milla. Whatever, the gas station was almost deserted with less than ten people, we ordered the food and ate. Then three young blokes came to the next table and started staring. After a while one of them (the leader, isn't it always?) shouted: "They are all f*cking men! They are f*cking trannies!" It was a new situation, I've never got any negative feedback, so I held my breath and went through different scenarios involving thai boxing in a wig. I turned to them and replied "And you are not men but mickey mice". Murmuring things about trannies they stood up and changed to the furthest table in the corner. I was laughing from all my heart. I don't enjoy confrontations, but I don't want to sit iddle and take sh*t on me from morons either.

The rest was torture, I had promised to drive back so I drove the 300kms fighting against sleep. Luckily roads were empty so I was fast and furious while Milla and Johanna slept happily. We would have stayed in a hotel but all the places were fully booked because of a snow mobile fair. I bet you don't have these problems in UK, do you?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Izvinite Rossija

I stated earlier my opinion that I wouldn't recommend Russia to any trans-person. I have several very good Russian friends, and I've had several trips there, mainly St. Petersburg (which is considered to be more European than Russian city). All my experience has been that Russian state of mind is the most chauvinistic, heterosexual one can find. Forget latin machismo, the latin guys look after their appearance, try to impress women to win their hearts. They might even give a rose and read a poem. Okay, it is the way of many Russians too, but the majority seems to be content at drinking with buddies and then finding some pretty girls to spend some quality time with. Exceptions from this are often frowned upon or simply not understood.

The country has also dark history from communist era, when physically and mentally handicapped and sexual minorities were transported to Siberia (or plainly killed) to starve together with the political opposition. That has left the people without understanding or tolerance of sexual minorities. Together with recent rise of violent nationalism it has summoned events like the recent - if not officially supported, at least tolerated - public beating of the Gay Parade participants in Moscow.

All that might be just bollocks.

A TS friend of mine is right now on another larger-than-life expedition, this time to the East. She took a Trans-Siberia (sic!) train from Finland to China, and reported me back from Tokyo that my opinions were not true. She had good time in Russia, made lots of friends, and was drinking and partying with people with no problems ever, people were always charming. Unlike in Latin America where she was traveling last time. Generally Russians were always surprised and interested to meet a TS, sometimes unable to comprehend what it is about, but always positive.

Now I wait and hope she will be able to comment on this..

Monday, October 09, 2006

TX + WoC

Went to London. Got wasted. Had fun.
What else?

This Way

Okay, in post-Sparkle euphoria I was determined to explore the UK scene more, and agreed with Jo to come for Transmission and Way Out Club. Sooner than expected - as usual - it was Friday morning 6 a.m. and I was throwing all kinds of clothes into bags. Or actually shoes to one bag and clothes to another.
Unfortunately I had just finished my holiday in Asian tropics and started working in harsh Nordic autumn, meaning I had caught bad cold and energies were down, but off to London I flew straight from work..
Jo Darling was kind enough to pick me from airport and provide for food and shelter in Kent for Friday night. We had a peaceful evening with a 15 y.o. Scot, just preparing for Saturday.

Saturday we drove to Barbican hotel meeting Becky and Jane with whom we were staying. We went downtown shopping: I wanted to check out Honour, a fetish clothing shop and Becky needed some makeup from Charles Fox. How do you spot a tranny in tube? He's the one with pink rubber corset suspenders hanging out from his unidentifiable plastic bag. Shave etc in hotel with Mr. Bacardi - one shouldn't drink before preparing, but I haven't found my limit yet so I keep researching. Half a litre seems to be within limits. Oh and I still hate painting nails. Thank God it's autumn and dark at night..

Leaving hotel we waited for a cab with pirates' hen night party. I speculated joining them instead of the tranny program, but it was clearly a non-starter. I did get some candies from the girls though.

Evening started with a dinner at Carluccio's. We were joined by Clarissa, while Connie and Tracy had to cancel their night out. We were not alone at the place, at least Laura Handbag and Fiona were there too. Food was good, wine tasty and company perfect. Waiter was funny, making an emphasized "ladies..." every time he came to us.


I had decided to have a three-costume evening, and was carrying a well-sized sports bag as my hand luggage. Finishing the dinner we entered Transmission and I stormed into ladies' to change my business dress into more clubby outfit. I managed to un-identify Miss Rachel Anderson there. I was expecting some latex catsuit but she was wearing a Sonny Crocket suit.. Took me a while to realize, but then she was at least equally shocked to find out I'm not a UK girl. Speechless, almost.
Well then, the vodka red bull marathon started. Walking around the three floors of Transmission, dancing, mingling, chatting. Was nice to meet Kat and Rebekah who were heading for Rubber Ball later that night. April Angel was all over the place taking pictures, and gave me her business card umpteenth time. That's a routine I always perform upon meeting her. Oh and I remember meeting Yoko, a girl from Japan, and brushing the few Japanese sentences I still remember..

Becky, moi et Jo at Way Out Club. Photo by Jane

After midnight we changed place to Way Out Club (and I changed clothes the second time). Becky and Jo had forewarned me it's a seedy place they every time swear not to go again. I prepared for action buying a mini whip from Honour, determined to keep admirers at arm's length. Clarissa gave us a lift and headed home. Entering the place is funny, circular stairs go on and on down in a bright blue corridor. At that stage I was more than merry-go-happy and rest of the night was err... party routine. Yes there was some action in toilets (not me, mind you!), I got some admirer attention but it was perfectly ok, no need to whip anybody. Quite little actually, or then I was too wasted to notice it. I found the place more like an interesting zoo of all the species surrounding translife, not so much a seedy meat market. I did perform lap dancing to Jane and Becky on the table (hopely there will be no pictures). I did run into dance floor every time there was something I like. Finally I was too exhausted and pled Jo to take me home. Was nice to meet Tidy TTT and Hanna Violane. Sorry everybody I have forgotten or that my seriously narrowed field of vision didn't spot on Sat.

I got my punishment, all 10 hours of it, the next day. Considering only the amount of red bull I had on side: Don't do that, it's bad for your health. I must have been the most miserable person waiting for check-in to open at Heathrow. I was impressed to see police carrying automatic riffles, and did you know now you have to remove your shoes for scanning in security check? Next year, naked?

All in all fab weekend, extremely nice to see Jo, Becky and Jane again. And many other old and new friends. Pity I was a bit down with the cold and was fighting it with strong medicine.


I'm Valerie, 32. I drink too much when I have fun. I make too big show when I'm wasted. Bear with me. I try to be a better err... tranny.

* Tranny Alcoholics and Danceholics Anonymous