Monday, October 29, 2007

Winter time

Europe, or parts of, switched Sunday 4 a.m. to winter time, one hour back. As my phone hadn't changed itself automatically, I set it manually. Obviously it had set itself one more hour back on arriving to Estonia last night, as the customer called me this morning asking where I am, everybody is already waiting for me. I was just planning to have breakfast. Haha. No breakfast today.

Are we perhaps getting a little too dependent on all those small devices that actually don't work as expected?

I'm staying at Domina City. Doesn't deliver what name promises ;) No bath either. Bummer.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

PS: Way Out

There's gonna be reporters, tv crews included in the Drag Queen contest, throughout practise runs to finals.

I've been thinking about coming out for long but it still makes me wonder. Basically none of my family and old time friends know. *shivers* Well I will invite at least my sister and couple of friends to watch. Also this blog will get some random, nontraditional audience..

What a way of coming out!?!

Again, wish me luck. I feel like a ski jumper who just let go from top of the slope. I can only try to do my best but I can't stop inevitable. Well I could pull out of the contest but I won't. This is some of the decisions I've made to live a happier life. Have peace inside. This is what I want to do.

Naturally I'm worried if I do it alone /
Who really cares cause it's you're life you never know it might be great /
Take a chance cause you might grow //
Life is short, you're capable //
What You Waiting For? /
(Take a chance you stupid ho) /
Like an echo pedal you're repeating yourself /
You know it all by heart why are you standing in one place? //
What You Waiting For?

It's all in the lyrics.

Gwen Stefani: What You Waiting For?

Saturday, October 27, 2007

From A to B

After consultancy gig in Central Europe I flew back home for 24-hour pit stop to do laundry and pack for next week in Baltics. Went to see Sherry Vine, a drag queen from N.Y. (claiming to be famous, but aren't they all?!?) straight from airport. She sang herself the songs, but otherwise the show was quite a bummer.

Sherry Vine

Tonight I'm missing my friend Becky's wedding in Kings Lynn, the world tranny headquarters. I just couldn't make the sidestep from NL to UK and back with my schedule :( I'm thinking about you babes, may your marriage be happy, long and joyful! <3 <3 <3

I'm preparing for the upcoming Miss Drag Queen contest on November 8th. Yay! I'm going full ahead aiming for the Vegas trip top prize ;) Wish me luck!

I had all my make up with my this week but didn't bother to open the case, I was just trying to catch up on my sleep debt. I've been thinking a lot of my life lately, where I want to lead it, and I think I have clearer path ahead.. Probably will have to take some dramatic decision to be able to move on. No, not relationship matters this time - I hope :D Like living here midst of elks and rabbits. My car's been semi-broken so I just drive it minimum and take a bus. This time when I came back the battery was dead! The last thing I need coming home.. Had to take a taxi and now figure out how to resurrect it next Friday. Life could be easier.. And I'm burning stacks of money for this manor life.

Infernal: Self Control

PS: I haven't drank any alcoholic bewerage for 2 weeks, and will not before the contest. And it feels quite nice. I'm on rehab lol.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Burn Baby Burn

Ok I've been a lousy blogger again. But for reasons, really. I'm exhausted and busy. I'm working day'n'nite, traveling every week. I was going to take part in a certain competition but had to cancel that for aforementioned reasons. Next month my hotel-to-home ratio is 6 to 1... I'm writing this in a train heading to the next city, next hotel. Surprisingly, I'm in a desperate need of a proper holiday.

Then I've finally set up the long-thought project, "Angels Finland". Soon outta beta, (that's Finnish for powder) is a forum for Finnish speaking transgendered people. Two weeks after setup it's almost 50 users, most of them active, with only word of mouth advertising. That's pretty damn good in a country of 5M people, looks like I was right there was a desperate need for moderated tranny forum. All due respect to the original inspiring UK Angels and the powers behind it Jo & Kim.

Karol's earlier late night inspired post, and especially April's comment put me thinking about my blogging too. Why bother if you're not going to be honest to 100% ? Well.. Sometimes this feels useless and I consider giving up but hopely without sounding posh I tell you: I have an agenda. I want to show potential Finnish trannies an option for shame and scorn. Trannying is about having fun - or can be if one chooses so. It's possible to go out head straight, dance your feet sore, get wasted and even find accepting partners. I tell you a secret: I have no competition in Finland. As far as I know I'm the only tranny blogger here. Anyone know better, tell me immediately!

Will I ever feel peace inside /
Will I some day feel complete /
Will there ever be easy life /
Will I run eternally?