Search engine bigotry

Just how deluded can somebody be?

I am an admin for a Finnish TG discussion forum, and one thread is recommendations about good webshops for clothes shopping. The forum is strongly moderated family safe, no questionable content. I recently got this email:


Dear Webmaster

We have discovered that you are linking to our website, www.fancydress.com, on the following URLs: http://www.puuteri.org/keskustelu ... (several links to the thread)

Please would you remove the links to our website. Will you please confirm by email that you have received this email and the links have been removed.

Kind regards,
Jeremy


First I thought just to ignore this nonsense, but I was too intrigued and replied:


Dear Jeremy,

I'd be utterly interested to hear an explanation for such a strange contact?

You've set up a web site and search for anybody linking there, and wish you are not mentioned or linked by anybody? I've been working with the web since the first web browser in 1993, and never met anybody (outside China) with your interest.

with regards and uttermost interest,
Valerie


Now the thing is getting interesting:


Hi Valerie,
We're currently in the process of optimization (SEO) and as part of this are removing all links to our site that are damaging our ranking. Sadly yours were doing this, so I have to ask you to remove them.
Many thanks,

Jeremy


So excuse me? You have hired some hulabalooba SEO optimizer consultant / read a 5c book on the topic, and decided people discussing about your shop in some discussion forum (in a language totally foreign to you) is degrading you?
And, as a solution, you decide to send a polite email asking to remove the link, i.e. remove the discussion about you. Essentially, you want the discussion forum to censor any mentions about your website because it so unfortunately doesn't improve your search engine rankings? WTF?!?

How out of your mind can you be?

Did you already write to The Guardian and New York Times and asked them to remove several articles, also from already published papers? I recommend you shut your frickin website if you don't like losing control who's linking and writing about you. Or move to China and start gaining reputation in The Party. I just cannot give better advise than if you are so out of understanding what Internet is, you shouldn't consider taking the task of search engine optimization.

OMG. So appalling a company with such a history seems to have lost contact with reality.


PS: the discussion was recommending the shop, but as a result I'll add information that the people running it might just be too strange to do business with..

In my shoes

Disclaimer: I'm sorry dear readers - if there still are any - that I'm so much more inclined to venting about disasters than documenting the sunny side. Yes I am the merry-go-happy partygirl but it's so easy to move on with good things business as usual, and have a strong urge to get moody thoughts out. So, if partying is all you want, skip and look forward into reading next entry. Or take a drink or something.


My girlfriend from some time ago from other side of the world called me. She's got HIV she told, crying most of the time. I've gone to tests regularly so I'm sure I'm clear. I quite couldn't get if she just wanted to inform me and to talk with somebody who cares, or if there's something else. Anyway, my spouse (who knew the story already) got utterly mad at me for asking to send email and explain what has happened and what is her situation. Ex-relationships can die in hell pleading for help whatsoever if she can decide. Instant domestic crisis, just add reason for jealousy. Both parties happen to be from same Asian country. Yes I've told already I appreciate very much the chance to drink very deeply from the cup of life.

Not sure what to do, but if the story is true (sorry for scepticism but for all things counted, cannot be ruled out) it's hard to ignore. As a western wellfare bastard HIV is just a disease requiring regular medication, but for the less fortunate parts of the world it more or less means end of life, unless you happen to be part of the high society. Further crisis ahead. Looks like I haven't been blessed with normal life.

I'm not looking for a clearer conscience
Peace of mind after what I've been through
And before we talk of repentance
Try walking in my shoes
You'll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes


Depeche Mode: Walking in my shoes

112 is a joke

Mmm.. I feel so lousy. I've enjoyed so much reading blogs about interesting characters like Karol and Becky, but I'm too lazy to report diligently about my whereabouts. I guess I would be occasionally capable to hit the front page..

Last weekend we had a Puuteri regatta. So what is Puuteri? It's my Finnish Angels-inspired transgender forum/chat site with currently about 350 users and 3.000 messages - in a language territory of 5 million people, after 9 months!
Anyhow, 2 girls from the forum wanted to arrange a regatta. The date was bad for me as my boat was not available but we decided to join with my newlywed wife on short notice. Now believe me, I'm no amateur to sea. And I'm no amateur to alcohol. OMG bad combination. We boarded Saija's fabulous boat and headed to sea in fair weather. After unsuccessfully trying to spot THE Finnish nude beach we waited at sea for the other yacht to join us. After joining we enjoyed some delights like my newly invented rhum-strawberry yoghurt - what landludders couldn't drink it, it was delicious! I went to swim (+16oC) and was intimated to numerous photographs on the occasion. Well we did have some decent delights like salmon sushi as well..
Next we headed to a nearby island for a picnic. To put a story short, we made barbeque, annoyed all other people and our captain got terribly, terribly drunk (i.e. lying down for half an hour trying to get back to boat). We managed to drag him onboard and hide from stares from neighboring yachts. It looked like I had to take command of the ship, so we first proceeded to home harbour to fetch my girlie stuff. Bringing it onboard I dropped into the sea. Hooray. Then I commanded the invincible armada to a pier located conveniently near to my favourite club DTM.
I marched my 7-something bandits into the bar (disregarding the 2 block queue - I'm a VIP hey?!?) and on with the party.. Oh we did help one homeless alcoholic into the caring hands of Finnish police forces, narrowly escaping ending up spending the night with the coppers ourselves as well..
Very very unfortunately a member of our party fell all his 150kg's on me, standing on my feet. My ankle twisted and gone in pain.

Where would I be without friends? They take care when everything else fails. 112 (or 911 for yanks) was refusing to send an ambulance, one tranny with destroyed leg is not a reason enough in Finland. Impossible to get taxi. My friend managed to catch a bike taxi. Fucking hell! I'm living in one of the most appraised developed country, paying 2.000€+ /month taxes and when my leg is destroyed I get to a hospital with a chance luck of finding a riksha! Ooh I spent some 3 hours of the Saturday night in the one and only Helsinki ER hospital. Got Xray, no broken bones so all I got was walking sticks. Welcome again to the wellfare society. Nothing, for fuck's sake. Wait 3 hours in hospital with terribly pain and all I get is walking sticks, as I've got no broken bones. Oh well.
Looking back, it was funny experience, sitting there in wheelchair for hours in fishnets and mini with all those bleeding ER patients.
I retreated to a friend's flat nearby to die slowly with pain. My ankle was totally destroyed and the pain I got was monumental. I ate painkillers like.. hares eat grass? My dear wife luckily has a driving licence, we gathered our things in the morning from the yacht and drove back home. All plans for my holiday destroyed.

So, a normal night out again.
This weekend ER, next weekend - what? (If I can walk already?)



Eve: Tambourine

Sparkles(s)

I won't be at the Canal Street this weekend. Heart bleeding. Well, I'm missing many of you truly. Been about a year since I last saw any of my UK friends. Just too pressed with work and everything, in a positive way though.

Greetings from Amsterdam, I'll try to have all the fun I can to compensate the major loss. Have fun darlinks! <3 <3 <3

Catching up

What I did last weekend?

Move lawn looking like Pussycat Dolls - check
Have Jap lolita ts-friends come over to my place - check
Have Chicks with Guns (tm) sauna evening with them - check
Organize t*girl meeting at nightclub & party all night - check
Attend moving family reunion - check
Organize forthcoming life with newlywed - check
Book 4*2 trips in Asia & Europe - check
Blog about all marvelous things happening around me - errr..
Post plenty of pictures on Flickr - what pictures?!?

Sorry but I just can't keep up with myself. Tomorrow I'm changing continent again.

Oh and by the way. I cannot make it to the Sparkle. I know already I'll be missing you all like hell, but that's life. 2009 is almost there! Love you all.


Poor Amy Winehouse: Valerie

Where Do I Begin?

Greetings from Bangkok. Got married.

Shirley Bassey - LOVE STORY (Where Do I Begin)

Sometimes words fail.

When I come back I'll be signing a new job and start looking for a flat downtown, my newlywed's moving to Finland soon. And it all started on Christmas Day night..

Out with the old..

Sorry for being cryptic as usual, but blame the Lithuanian waitresses who bring me new glass no matter what I say to them. Do they know I'm an alcoholic or are they just in urgent need of English lessons?

I'm feeling moody, this might be my last business trip in my professional life as it has been for several years. T-7 till MD-11 takes off and my life changes. And other things. Stay tuned if you're interested.

XOXO

Beloved: Sweet Harmony

Tamed

In the city of sin and angels
where the devil always walks next to you
and the pearls ain't free
I fell for your tropical eyes
smile joy crazyness pure heart and goodness

Now I cannot get rid of this feeling
having lost a piece of my heart
craving to be complete
day and night

Vinylshakerz: One night in Bangkok / Iio: Is It Love

Restless heart

I've been a bit down as in addition to last Saturday's episode I've had a very very bad infection taking me to hospital Sunday & Tuesday nights.. Things are much better now although the original reason and resulting effects remain still unknown. My advice: don't get terribly sick in Netherlands outside office hours. I have to wait until I get back to Finland to get proper examinations.

On more positive front all my things were found in the theater as I suspected. Should get my laptop tomorrow here in Amsterdam.

All this mess has resulted in some reflection and two resolutions: I stop a) drinking like an idiot and b) irresponsible (sex) life. (Well b) I did on New Year already but now it's official). There will always be more alcohol (and other substances) and sex partners than I can possible consume. Time to draw the line. Maybe it took so long getting adult but I feel my restless heart got tamed a little. And I've seen who really care for me and am grateful for that. Some big questions going around my head got answered as well and all this has helped to see what path I want to take.

I promise to be about as much fun but lot less dangerous to myself and surroundings :)

Today I'll go see the masterpieces at the Rijksmuseum and have dinner with customer instead of smoking weed and trannying around Rembrandtplein nightclubs. But I'll do that some other time ;)

Real Time

I have been lazy blogger for a month again so let's do something new: real time blogging! It's a full course tranny night in Helsinki tonight again. I'm going to theater with a dozen other trannies and some spouses, then eat in a restaurant and continue to wee hours at Mama.

13.30 Checked in to hotel. I decided to get a hotel room for convenience. I don't have permanent base downtown and the hotel's optimally located opposite the theater and just some blocks away from DTM. Even I should be able to walk back even though it's gonna be freezing tonight! Winter finally arrived to Finland looks like. It was -12oC at home this morning.

14.15 Went to grab couple big macs, I'm dying. Yeah I do eat shit sometimes. Waiting for Tita who's due to arrive in an hour or something. If she manages to pack. Nice to have free wlan in hotel. Middle European hotels suck with their 20e/day internet "facilities". I hope I packed everything. As it's a proper theater night I'm gonna have my long black evening dress. Actually very same I had last fall at DWC Hauho meeting. Funny this is the 2nd time in my life I participate with DWC and I'm having exactly the same clothes. Did I forget to mention it's a DWC theater night? Well what the heck why not..

15.20 I've finally found perfect transport solution for girl gear: Bundeswehr military bag! Big enough to fit everything, long enough to fit thigh high-boots as well. And looks cool! No more plastic bag hell.

15.30 Finally Miss Nervous Bad Packer calls she arrived at lobby.. Here we go again..

15.45 Shopping ->

16.30 Back. Mmm... Magnum sparkling and salmiakkikossu. Alcohol, my favourite drink. Now going to bath. Elina the photographer wants to join us. Mai mii panhaa.

17.15 I'm wasted like a fish in a rhum barrel.. Now hot bath and cool sparkling!

1.39
Things are going pretty bad. 100-0 wasted, passed out 2 times, loads of stuff lost... we are now at hotel and call it a day. Maybe someone will tell me the details of the night tomorrow?
(This post is made by Titania, due Valerie`s wasted condition.)


11.17 Oops, I did it again. To sum up quickly I managed to lose my handbag again last night: credit card, driving licence, phone and camera gone again. I do hope I dropped them in the theater but unfortunately it's closed on Sundays. And I'm flying to NL in 4 hours. OMG. Play started at 19 but we managed to enter only for the second half as usual. The play, Le Cage Aux Folles, was ok (although I don't remember much). Then we went to eat in a restaurant, where I realised my missing items and got my night ruined. Very intelligently I went to walk around downtown looking for it - and then forgot what was the restaurant where we were.. What an episode. I tried to convince Tita to continue in dtm anyway but she decided to call it a night. Now I really really pray my handbag is in the theater.

Some positive news: I will get my stolen laptop back next week in Amsterdam.

Scarred

Just advertising Cristal Snow's latest song. She's a Finnish drag queen turn singer/songwriter (maybe participating in the next Eurovision). I begin to like her more and more. Especially since in the miss drag queen contest afterparty she complimented my show and we were lying on top of each other kissing. I don't know but I was told so. I was slightly wasted, again.

Cristal Snow: Scarred

Supa supa.

Weather report

Weather report for today: 40 degrees C temperature drop, sleet. What went wrong when Finnish climate was created?

Marsha: รักยังไม่ต้องการ

khityn khun teerak

Sawaddee pi mai!

The year has changed and I wish a better, luckier, lovelier year for everybody, myself included ;)

I was supposed to be diving in the south already but I'm still in Bangkok ;) Who hates Bangkok hates life. Life is good.


I was in Amsterdam a few weeks ago and generated a chapter or two to my memoirs - again. Put it briefly went out partying in an outfit that got half the city whistling after me. Hooked up with a transvestite pro and her gay friend with whom we roamed the streets and clubs. Doing sex for money in Amsterdam's Red Light District - check. LOL wups now you know.. Unfortunately the long night ended with the bloody frickin idiot gay stealing my laptop. I haven't been writing about that trip as police was tracking him down and I handed my Valerie contact cards with my blog address to them. My Christmas present was news he was found and so was my laptop. Praise Amsterdam police and certain gorgeus long legged blonde Dutch in the forces whom I dutifully explained my whereabouts that night. Well not quite all LOL.. "If you want to recognize me from the surveillance cameras I'm the one with blonde hair, short leather mini (short enough to show my stayups) and high heel boots" - "The hotel security confirmed there was somebody who could have been a tranny" I take that as a compliment as they didn't clearly recognize it LOL. I was supposed to go to Clinic Fetish Party the night after but I got so freaked out by my stolen laptop that it killed all my party mood. Only parts were backed up so 5gigs of pictures, personal records, official records of some organizations I'm heading and my company bookkeeping lost! Yikes.. I'm so happy it was found, hopely I can recover most of the data as well.



Moral of the story: Don't trust Bulgarian people with questionable lifestyle, even though your best friends happen to be Bulgarian and Russian. The fact they are ph.d. might contribute more than their nationality.


The following week I was working in NL and got so frustrated with seemingly no advances in the investigation I went back to RLD try track the bitches down.. In between I decided to check the Casa Roso live sex show which is claimed to be "something you have to see once in your life" by respectable travel guides. I've never been to one so why not? Crowd mostly middle-aged Jap salarimen. The first show was just B-class striptease, next one a middle aged, overwheight "domina" show I wasn't even very interested in. Middle of the show she came down stage looking for partner from the audience. After unsuccessfully trying to have the salariman behind me she turned to me. Mistake. Now I've been on stages with thousands of people in audience and I've done striptease and unfortunately I'm a bit crazy whatever clothes, although it doesn't show until I do something ;) So there I was on Casa Rosso stage with 50 people watching.. I warned the girl I don't like hard spanking, and after a second one I slammed her back on her ass. Friendly, but firmly. I do have a hard time being a bottom you know. Mistake. The show stopped and this mountain of flesh nickname security literally threw me out of the place. Something to laugh at afterwards but I wasn't so happy at the moment. I pay to come to see bad shows, I'm asked to participate in it and when I slap a girl on her ass in a s/m show it's beyond limits? Get real..

Moral of the story: I really don't have to participate in everything I can, some things are just not worth it.


I did my pit stop record: two weeks in Belgium - Netherlands, 30 hours from touchdown to Bangkok takeoff, 12 hours at home. Oh and I was flying business Bangkok, free champagne all the way! ;) I had my TG alarm ringing loud all the way, I was 97% sure my fellow passanger on the row was a m2f TS going for SRS or FFS, but due to acute shyness and the Norwegian guy between us I held myself from the friendly line "You TS?"


There was some spice to this otherwise seemingly dull blog of my party escapades. Hope you still love me LOL.. I'll be back in couple of weeks.


Happy 2008!

I won't be crying

I haven't loved anybody like I loved you
I haven't done everything I can to anybody else but you
Nobody hurt me like you
Did you realize my love died a little with your every blow?
That's why I won't be crying anymore for you


Have a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year, love you all.
I'll be soon off Europe, will be back in 2008.


Robbie Williams: Sexed Up

Emotional

Can one feel emotional about an airport? Arriving today at Schiphol I felt. The place summarizes my trans-European freelance life, flying there about every month for the last two years. I started looking at the people coming and going, and felt odd universal love towards all of them. More so because all this might be changing. I've got an job offer for a steady work which presumably means less traveling and independence, but advantages should be considerable too.

Tough day, managed to catch only couple hours sleep last night as I was packing and preparing the house and it's lesser inhabitants for my absence.

I'll be shedding tears tonight as my relationship does seem to end in ruins anyway, no matter how much I've tried... Just how many times is it reasonable to break up a relationship so you can still call it a relationship?


World Hold On


PS: if somebody is in Amsterdam this Friday-Saturday with great plans or at least knows of great fun all contacts are appreciated!!

Appetizers

I'm still very early in process of putting the shows into utube (read: haven't done anything) but here be appetizers! Somebody put online compilation vids that contains snippets of yours truly too:

Miss Drag Queen 08 contest
Part 1 : introduction @ 2.15, Madonna Fever @ 6.15
Part 2 : Gwen Stefani @ 6.20
(Part 3 : Award ceremony)

MDQ afterthoughts

I mostly practised my show on the previous day. Late night I started thinking maybe I'm totally out of scope for the whole contest. Then I started browsing youtube for drag performances, and found this gem:
Drag Idol and then I knew I was doing the right thing, even though the judges will hate me ;) Love me or hate me, indeed. Hello international. Just wish I could dance just as good as her..

And as far as I understand, some UK/US irony is in the game: Lady Sovereign - Love Me Or Hate Me

PS: I should get the MDQ tape this weekend, just as I get my hands on video editing sw I will post my performance on youtube! Promise!

PS2: I swore I won't take part again, but if I did, how about this for a song? It contains a message ;)

BlingSpace

I had a strong decision not ever make myself a MySpace profile because 1) anything that connects with Microsoft is Evil 2) MySpace is so unusable heap of bling and bad web that it's a natural wonder people are able to use it. Why it's so popular, heaven knows.

Today I've spent 2 hours aimlessly looking for people I know from real life or the net and considering adding them as friends. Why? I dunno. Maybe it's a domino effect of a friend inviting me to facebook, then creating Valerie facebook profile, then going back to old MySpace non-profile and thinking what the heck.. But it all seems a bit funny, it just seems to be a global, yet closed ego-boost sandbox where your worth is metered by how many friends you have. But for heavens sake, having Madonna as your "friend"?!? Oh yeah, so you call her for a quick chat when you're bored. It's all a bit ridiculous when it goes past real friends, or some intention of friendship.

Now everybody go and immediately add me as your friend or I will spank you! I feel so worthless with only 2 friends that I will disappear out of sheer shame.

www.myspace.com/missvaleries

By the way, all this Miss Valerie began over a year ago because all other reasonable .com domains were already taken. That I decided to do the Drag Queen contest was a later, funny coinsidence.

Mother

Today I told my mother I took part in Miss Drag Queen contest. Neither of my parents know. Of anything. She laughed from all her heart, and told she just yesterday watched my childhood picure she has in frames, thinking how beautiful I look, so delicate facial features. Then she proceeded to tell me their local newspaper featured made-up males, and she was amazed how one of them really looked like Princess Diana, with makeup and hair. Oh how I wanted to show her my flickr pics and tell "Mama, I still look beautiful". But I decided to postpone it. More important things were on agenda today.

Snafu

I finally managed to do it. I lost my handbag with camera, credit card, driving license and phone on Friday night. Got a bit too out of this world.. The phone is the worst, now I've lost virtually all of my contacts. No backups. So if you feel like belonging in my phone please send me your number..

And I'll have a rl test how to live without a phone and credit card.