I won't be crying

I haven't loved anybody like I loved you
I haven't done everything I can to anybody else but you
Nobody hurt me like you
Did you realize my love died a little with your every blow?
That's why I won't be crying anymore for you


Have a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year, love you all.
I'll be soon off Europe, will be back in 2008.


Robbie Williams: Sexed Up

Emotional

Can one feel emotional about an airport? Arriving today at Schiphol I felt. The place summarizes my trans-European freelance life, flying there about every month for the last two years. I started looking at the people coming and going, and felt odd universal love towards all of them. More so because all this might be changing. I've got an job offer for a steady work which presumably means less traveling and independence, but advantages should be considerable too.

Tough day, managed to catch only couple hours sleep last night as I was packing and preparing the house and it's lesser inhabitants for my absence.

I'll be shedding tears tonight as my relationship does seem to end in ruins anyway, no matter how much I've tried... Just how many times is it reasonable to break up a relationship so you can still call it a relationship?


World Hold On


PS: if somebody is in Amsterdam this Friday-Saturday with great plans or at least knows of great fun all contacts are appreciated!!

Appetizers

I'm still very early in process of putting the shows into utube (read: haven't done anything) but here be appetizers! Somebody put online compilation vids that contains snippets of yours truly too:

Miss Drag Queen 08 contest
Part 1 : introduction @ 2.15, Madonna Fever @ 6.15
Part 2 : Gwen Stefani @ 6.20
(Part 3 : Award ceremony)

MDQ afterthoughts

I mostly practised my show on the previous day. Late night I started thinking maybe I'm totally out of scope for the whole contest. Then I started browsing youtube for drag performances, and found this gem:
Drag Idol and then I knew I was doing the right thing, even though the judges will hate me ;) Love me or hate me, indeed. Hello international. Just wish I could dance just as good as her..

And as far as I understand, some UK/US irony is in the game: Lady Sovereign - Love Me Or Hate Me

PS: I should get the MDQ tape this weekend, just as I get my hands on video editing sw I will post my performance on youtube! Promise!

PS2: I swore I won't take part again, but if I did, how about this for a song? It contains a message ;)

BlingSpace

I had a strong decision not ever make myself a MySpace profile because 1) anything that connects with Microsoft is Evil 2) MySpace is so unusable heap of bling and bad web that it's a natural wonder people are able to use it. Why it's so popular, heaven knows.

Today I've spent 2 hours aimlessly looking for people I know from real life or the net and considering adding them as friends. Why? I dunno. Maybe it's a domino effect of a friend inviting me to facebook, then creating Valerie facebook profile, then going back to old MySpace non-profile and thinking what the heck.. But it all seems a bit funny, it just seems to be a global, yet closed ego-boost sandbox where your worth is metered by how many friends you have. But for heavens sake, having Madonna as your "friend"?!? Oh yeah, so you call her for a quick chat when you're bored. It's all a bit ridiculous when it goes past real friends, or some intention of friendship.

Now everybody go and immediately add me as your friend or I will spank you! I feel so worthless with only 2 friends that I will disappear out of sheer shame.

www.myspace.com/missvaleries

By the way, all this Miss Valerie began over a year ago because all other reasonable .com domains were already taken. That I decided to do the Drag Queen contest was a later, funny coinsidence.

Mother

Today I told my mother I took part in Miss Drag Queen contest. Neither of my parents know. Of anything. She laughed from all her heart, and told she just yesterday watched my childhood picure she has in frames, thinking how beautiful I look, so delicate facial features. Then she proceeded to tell me their local newspaper featured made-up males, and she was amazed how one of them really looked like Princess Diana, with makeup and hair. Oh how I wanted to show her my flickr pics and tell "Mama, I still look beautiful". But I decided to postpone it. More important things were on agenda today.

Snafu

I finally managed to do it. I lost my handbag with camera, credit card, driving license and phone on Friday night. Got a bit too out of this world.. The phone is the worst, now I've lost virtually all of my contacts. No backups. So if you feel like belonging in my phone please send me your number..

And I'll have a rl test how to live without a phone and credit card.

Miss Drag Queen 08

Not me ;) I'm happy, tired, still having fever, and heading downtown to Milla-tv's birthdy bash.

Just a quick note, I'll update this later with pictures, hopely some video too.

I'm quite happy with the show I put up, Madonna's Fever performance from the Girlie Show-tour and Gwen Stefani's What You Waiting For? from a live TV show performance. 1:1 with costumes and coreographies.

I've read there are three types of drag performances: humorous presentation of feminity - "man in dress", ridiculing of feminity or certain female personas, and respect of feminity. My things is the last one, I paid homage to Madonna & Gwen Stefani. It's the rarest type of drag, plus a dancing drag is real endangered species.

Judging was definitely poo. They were trying to imitate Idols format and were very negative, I didn't get a single positive comment.. There was a professional drag artist & dancer judge but he didn't realize what my shows were based on. The others, two minor tv-celebs were giving mostly some random critic..

Nice experience anyway. Time to move on.

Eve of the Grand Day

Eep!

Tomorrow this time the Miss Drag Queen competition should be over. I've got fab costumes (sans a pair of shoes I have to find tomorrow) and nice coreographies. And +38oC fever. Ha! I'll be performing Madonna's Fever tomorrow, what irony!

Really, wish me luck that I find some inner energy to shine on the stage despite my physical condition. Hope I wont be too nervous to blackout all the coreographies and lyrics..


On a totally different note, there was a high school shooting in Helsinki neighbourhood today. 8 killed, 12 wounded by fellow extremist student. He had posted his intentions yesterday in YouTube video and earlier in blog and forum posts (now taken offline). Finland was supposed to be one of the safest countries in the world. Tomorrow will be national day of mourning. Sad, sad...

Winter time

Europe, or parts of, switched Sunday 4 a.m. to winter time, one hour back. As my phone hadn't changed itself automatically, I set it manually. Obviously it had set itself one more hour back on arriving to Estonia last night, as the customer called me this morning asking where I am, everybody is already waiting for me. I was just planning to have breakfast. Haha. No breakfast today.

Are we perhaps getting a little too dependent on all those small devices that actually don't work as expected?

I'm staying at Domina City. Doesn't deliver what name promises ;) No bath either. Bummer.

PS: Way Out

There's gonna be reporters, tv crews included in the Drag Queen contest, throughout practise runs to finals.

I've been thinking about coming out for long but it still makes me wonder. Basically none of my family and old time friends know. *shivers* Well I will invite at least my sister and couple of friends to watch. Also this blog will get some random, nontraditional audience..

What a way of coming out!?!

Again, wish me luck. I feel like a ski jumper who just let go from top of the slope. I can only try to do my best but I can't stop inevitable. Well I could pull out of the contest but I won't. This is some of the decisions I've made to live a happier life. Have peace inside. This is what I want to do.

Naturally I'm worried if I do it alone /
Who really cares cause it's you're life you never know it might be great /
Take a chance cause you might grow //
Life is short, you're capable //
What You Waiting For? /
(Take a chance you stupid ho) /
Like an echo pedal you're repeating yourself /
You know it all by heart why are you standing in one place? //
What You Waiting For?

It's all in the lyrics.

Gwen Stefani: What You Waiting For?

From A to B

After consultancy gig in Central Europe I flew back home for 24-hour pit stop to do laundry and pack for next week in Baltics. Went to see Sherry Vine, a drag queen from N.Y. (claiming to be famous, but aren't they all?!?) straight from airport. She sang herself the songs, but otherwise the show was quite a bummer.



Tonight I'm missing my friend Becky's wedding in Kings Lynn, the world tranny headquarters. I just couldn't make the sidestep from NL to UK and back with my schedule :( I'm thinking about you babes, may your marriage be happy, long and joyful! <3 <3 <3

I'm preparing for the upcoming Miss Drag Queen contest on November 8th. Yay! I'm going full ahead aiming for the Vegas trip top prize ;) Wish me luck!

I had all my make up with my this week but didn't bother to open the case, I was just trying to catch up on my sleep debt. I've been thinking a lot of my life lately, where I want to lead it, and I think I have clearer path ahead.. Probably will have to take some dramatic decision to be able to move on. No, not relationship matters this time - I hope :D Like living here midst of elks and rabbits. My car's been semi-broken so I just drive it minimum and take a bus. This time when I came back the battery was dead! The last thing I need coming home.. Had to take a taxi and now figure out how to resurrect it next Friday. Life could be easier.. And I'm burning stacks of money for this manor life.


Infernal: Self Control


PS: I haven't drank any alcoholic bewerage for 2 weeks, and will not before the contest. And it feels quite nice. I'm on rehab lol.

Burn Baby Burn

Ok I've been a lousy blogger again. But for reasons, really. I'm exhausted and busy. I'm working day'n'nite, traveling every week. I was going to take part in a certain competition but had to cancel that for aforementioned reasons. Next month my hotel-to-home ratio is 6 to 1... I'm writing this in a train heading to the next city, next hotel. Surprisingly, I'm in a desperate need of a proper holiday.

Then I've finally set up the long-thought project, "Angels Finland". Soon outta beta, Puuteri.org (that's Finnish for powder) is a forum for Finnish speaking transgendered people. Two weeks after setup it's almost 50 users, most of them active, with only word of mouth advertising. That's pretty damn good in a country of 5M people, looks like I was right there was a desperate need for moderated tranny forum. All due respect to the original inspiring UK Angels and the powers behind it Jo & Kim.

Karol's earlier late night inspired post, and especially April's comment put me thinking about my blogging too. Why bother if you're not going to be honest to 100% ? Well.. Sometimes this feels useless and I consider giving up but hopely without sounding posh I tell you: I have an agenda. I want to show potential Finnish trannies an option for shame and scorn. Trannying is about having fun - or can be if one chooses so. It's possible to go out head straight, dance your feet sore, get wasted and even find accepting partners. I tell you a secret: I have no competition in Finland. As far as I know I'm the only tranny blogger here. Anyone know better, tell me immediately!


Will I ever feel peace inside /
Will I some day feel complete /
Will there ever be easy life /
Will I run eternally?

Interlude

While trying to catch up and provide some entertainment, I'll just mention some challenges with my blogging.

1. I'm too busy with my life. How boring, but true.
2. My trannying is more real than virtual. I mostly go out to bars and have fun, and then continue business as usual. It's also that after going a lot out the novelty of reporting wears off.
3. I don't see standard things worth reporting. Not that my idea of standard night out would be boring. And besides, honestly, sometimes I don't remeber what I did.

Take for example, we went with Titania, my love and her brother both Saturday and Sunday out. Sunday got pretty wild even the bar was half deserted. We went to have a pizza afterwards next door. Now I don't remember but I was kindly reminded that I put my knickers (which I took off in the bar already) to pizzeria's palm tree and tried to give the pizza burners my Valerie contact card. I'm not entirely sure if they took it.. (My miniskirt was rather short). I should have a reporter with me who could write funny stories what happens. Volunteers?

Back on track

But how long? ;)



Ok, so this is called Trendy Discotheque. Nothing is worse than an empty disco where nothing happens so lets do something about it.

Couple weeks ago I was working in Tampere and hooked up finally with Timi Cica, a glam girl with some fabulous pictures in flickr. Tampere is TEH Manchester of Finland, 3rd largest industrial city with.. err.. quite not so high-flying atmosphere. There exist two lgbt clubs, namely Pink and old'n'rusty Mixei. I've never been to either of them, or out girly in Tampere.

So we met in my hotel, had some brief chat with sparkling and headed to Pink. Which, despite it's website information, was closed! Whoah! So we headed to Mixei, and entering the place I could imagine why. There were something like 5 middle-aged gays drinking beer. Err... Not maybe time for a major wasted dance show this time? Had fab night anyways chatting with Timi. Nice deviation from my standard girly night out: 1) I wasn't totally wasted 2) I was talking intelligently in good company 3) I didn't have hangover the morning after.



We agreed we'll try to have some proper party afterwards somewhere, but was nice to meet a new Finnish girl.

I'll try to do this more.

Trick or Truth

Truth #1: I'm a lousy blogger.

Actually that has to do with a larger problem in my life, I haven't got time to do anything properly. Will cut down on activities, promise. More fun, less pain.

What else do you want to know?

It's just the hot summer

I'm not dead you know.



Went out last Saturday. I have bought several different wigs during the Spring and finally decided to try my red hair. Milla Love wanted to trim it and did a fabulous job on it. I looked rather good with it, although I don't like it's very clear division of hair on top.. Will venture more into redheads, promise.

Anyhoo, there was some leather gay club meeting upstairs Dtm and I just couldn't resist playing with fire when I saw that cute and charismatic guy ;-) He was French which is my worst language so couldn't really communicate.

Had a ball with my bestest friends Milla-tv & Mila and naturally my fiance. Downed three bottles of sparkling, a number of vrb's and some shots - don't remember anything of the end of the night but I was reminded of some features the following day. Milla Love is a card-carrying member of the same club plus she had a porcelain long distance call and passed out half naked on floor. Again. No wonder everybody says we are made for each other. Actually we did have a reason for major party, it was exactly six months ago we met and had our first kiss in the same bar.

Funny, I think I'm starting to have a fan club in the place.



On the same lines as Becky, I've been feeling passive about blogging and flickr posting for a long time, trying to force myself keep my presence.. Nah. You know, after I've gathered a certain amount of wonderful friends, experienced things, it's so easy to just feel comfortable in the sandbox I've created and simply enjoy being. But I promise not start gathering moss, there will be things coming ;)

Happily ever after

Guess I should update with the latest news: we're engaged and getting married with Milla.

I could write a novel or two on what has happened during the last six months. We have been through paradise to storms and back many times and still adore each other.

Je t'aime.

Christina Aguilera: Candyman

Tracing continues

Frickin hell! My luggage was delivered to my London Hotel on Tuesday. Tough luck I left on Friday and they were well aware of that. Now Helsinki is waiting for Heathrow to bring them back. I've almost given up anyway.

We are capable of landing in Moon but not keeping track of a bag.

LND (Cry me a river)

Came back from London last night. Heathrow was in state of chaos, I queued two hours for check-in and then security screening. Plane was one and half hours late. Well, luckily. Nobody still has any idea where my baggage is. All make up and most of jewellery gone. Lots of clothes and shoes. Gonna be fun filing the insurance claim.

Went on Wednesday with Karol & Todd to Two2Much club in Soho. As a boy, because it was impossible to get a wig & boobs working all the days in & out. Had lots of fun anyway, Karol is good company and a lovely person. Too much fun, as the following morning at work I was still quite properly drunk. OMG. I'll take some holiday in London dedicated for partying.

Thursday I saw Clarissa for a peaceful after work pint and Italian dinner - in a slightly more upmarket place than she had thought :)

Last two weeks - with all their twists and turns - showed me again how wonderful friends I have accumulated.


* * *

Life is letting me drink so deeply from its cup I have to be very grateful, but sometimes I pay a great price. Ironically, within a week's time I am now saying goodbye to all the three women I have really loved during the last years.. So much love, hopeless crying and trying come to an end.

Nelly Furtado: All good things (come to an end)

I'm off to sea for a while. That's a place where I have peace of mind.

City 7 a.m.

Standing in hot shower this morning 7 a.m. I felt exhausted. I'm sick and tired of booking hotels and flights, rushing to planes, losing my baggage, wondering my Visa credit, going all the time to new places working with people I will never meet again. Coming back home to find a pile of bills overdue, mould in fridge and trying miserably to manage my other parts of life.

I just want to sleep late, sit on my country house stairs in sunshine with a fresh espresso, with my stupid but cute cats. Have nothing important to do but moving the lawn.

Maybe with someone. Time for decisions.

Fcuk

I frickin' lost my baggage coming here. Now if I won't get it by Wednesday how on earth am I gonna go clubbing as Valerie?

Bloody awful of Finnair. The second time within a week they lost my baggage.

Helsinki airport was just madness, people going to holidays. Bloody tourists, they should have their own terminal. Actually, they should travel by bus. Or walk. Come to think of it, they should stay home. Had to bypass all the queues to just and just catch the plane.

I'm camping in The Chamberlain. Come here and let's have a party!

Broke up

Is there anything more tearful than tranny love life?

*sigh*


Justin Timberlake: What Goes Around (Comes Back Around)

Based on a true story.

Destination LHR

Who you gonna call when there's an emergency situation in London? I'll be flying there on Sunday afternoon for a 5 day job. Looking forward to having some girly fun too. Although after Sparkle I joined the Anonymous Alcoholic Trannies' Support Group. Again.

How many days per year you have to spend in UK to get citizenship? With my current rate I could cancel my Finnish one at least.

The week after I'm expecting to have a nordic surprise act in Helsinki. Stay tuned :)

Sparkle: Full report

Went to Manchester. Got wasted. Had Fun. And oh, there were 1.000 other trannies too.


Seriously, finally got home. I will be so overwhelmed by work by next couple of days I'll write something later. Just big hugs to my friends old and new (you know my address, send me mail and I'll get in touch with you).

It was the wildest party in my life. And others agree.

6 am eternal

Just got back to hotel. Tonight's party was *****. Period.

Mel C: I turn to you

Mid-term resurrection

After lying hours in a (empty) bathtub I think I od'd yesterday with vodka red bull. and red wine. and whiskey. and champagne. Now that I'm coming to terms with my frickin head again I guess I better start preparing for tonight.

Was great to see everybody, have some chats and dancing. Tonight will be even better because I will try to remember what I do.

Sorry if I was a bitch. Unfortunately I am sometimes when I have too many. But I'm cute bitch. I love you all, really.

So let's go again!

Sparkle: The Arrival

Arrived at The Place this morning. I was feeling a bit weak in the plane as I was quietly enjoying couple of drinks and chasing Milla with lawnmover the night before.
As usual we were hugely late at check in and Milla's baggage didn't arrive to Manchester. After bitching about it for one hour she got drunk, forgot about it and passed out. Now we are preparing for the night, probably going to survey the Village. Jo arrived too and we'll see soon..

Letters to the Management:

Dear Sir(s),

While I appreciate your spacious bathroom facilities with generous mirror, it is utterly annoying that the bathroom shelves are all inclined outwards. All the makeup continues to fall out.

Yours faithfully,
Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong, Mrs.

P.S. I have never kissed the editor of the radio times.

Country Girl

Country Girl is coming to town!

Primal Scream: Country Girl

Tranny Footprint

My Tranny Footprint

I emit as much trannieness as:

everyone at Sparkle

Calculate your tranny footprint at BeckysWeb!

(Which is logically impossible, as I'm at Sparkle too!)

Besides being a wonderful person Becky is the sharpest pen in tranny blogosphere, and one of the original sources of my inspiration. I'll tell you about it. Later. Now I'm too busy going to sauna, drinking Cranberry Finlandia Vodka and doing my pre-Sparkle defuzz.

And this is not a warm up for next week, Bex, just an occasion to give you credit! :)


PS: Blogger auto language detection is nice, provided you're in your native territory. Couple of weeks ago in Istanbul was... err... interesting. That was the most Turkish I ever learnt.

Sparkle Countdown

Hotel The Place - check
Tickets HEL-MAN - check
New pink camera - check

I haven't bought new clothes for ages so I'll have to check my inventory and see if I have to go shopping. On Thursday I'll hit Manchester with due Milla, neither of which have been to England before. We'll be staying at The Place until Monday, so should be a proper party do! Gosh I have been waiting for Sparkle! So nice to attend the mother of all tranny parties, the party that made me who I am. So nice to see all my English friends, and maybe meet some new. I feel like going to the class reunion after 10 years, a little nervous to see how my best friends have been doing lately, hoping everything would be as much fun as "back then".

I know. It will. Manchester, watch out :).



I didn't go out for two months until last weekend, longest break ever since I started going out. Which is not so long ago, honestly. Been just too busy and usually it's not lightweight partying what happens if I go out. To give you an impression, let's see what happened..

I prepared at my gfriend Milla's parent's place with her and her friend. We had quite a proper amount of drinks before calling a taxi to DTM. Entering the place standard bottle of sparkling, then some considerable amount of drinks and dancing. Lot of fun together. Where time stopped, gfriend Milla came and threw her strawberry margarita on my white clothes and ran away. She declared on phone we're divorced as she's not so important to me. I cried on her friend's shoulder and he took us to sleep at his friend's place. Rewind (based on 3rd party stories). While she was spending time with her friends I was dancing with other girls, and when she later found me I was sitting on a couch and a turkish taxi driver was trying to find his way into my panties. At that point I hardly even knew my name let alone the nationality or sex of my companion, but as Milla was in similar condition she drew conclusions in a nanosecond and reacted.

The next day I ended up walking through Helsinki with ladies' white (ex, changed mostly into the color of strawberry) capris and a borrowed t-shirt and nothing else (like shoes) to see Milla and get back normal. Half an hour of talking and everything was perfect again. Sat night we went to party again, I was in boy mode this time. Milla said all gays were drooling on me, and our dance show attracted the attention as usual.

Just a standard night out, again.

We love each other to bits and know we're made for each other, but both of us are temperamentic, sometimes frighteningly so.




"8.6.2007. I'm really happy for you! In addition that you look good on the dance floor you are a very nice person :) Regards, Sari"

I got this slip from a girl at DTM. Milla got similar one a moment before. It's so nice to feel accepted and loved by everyone. Sari, if you're ever reading this, thanks a lot.

Latest development

Greetings from Europe's last frontier.

Eurovision 2007

Welcome to the Eurovision 2007 HQ hosted by Valerie S & Lady Viola.

Helsinki is totally packed with people from all around Europe with huge downtown outdoors viewing arena in addition to the actual stage. Which is told to be spectacular.

Hah, Lordi's new video of their last year success. They really have capitalized their success businesswise I can tell.

Of the hosts, Jaana is moderate celebrity originating from tv quizes, Mikko is the most handsome Finnish young actor (and a singer a bit too).

Bosnia-Herzegovina starts with actually quite nice song featuring strange green river nymphs. But lacks all the cheekiness of a ESC success.

Spain's boyband kicks ass next. Rumours tell Viola's gay friends vote for them ;-)

Belarus with their version of Bond theme presented by the satin wearing doll boy. Doesn't impress much.

Oh the Finnish inserts with ice-swimming naked people are... well typical Finnish.

OMG Ireland?!? Woodstock and World Aid meets Eurovision Irish folk music carrying the message. Zero points.

Finland presented by the former fork lift driver, Idols winner Hanna Pakarinen. Leave Me Alone. Did somebody think it's Lordi again? Not bad, but I'm not fan of the song. Which is is also sidestep from Hanna's previous pop career. Viola 7 points, Valerie 2 points.

That wasn't an accident. Krisse is a famous tv-show host with her character always over-simple, over-enthusiastic, over-barbie teen princess.

Macedonia presents the shortest skirt so far. +2 points. One dancer has to be carried on stage. -1 points. Oh the singer had to be carried as well. What did they drink before the performance? Rakija?

Bloody hell! Why all the inserts are from Lapland, in winter, with strange people. I refuse to admit living in the same country!

Nice socialist march anthem from Slovenia. Why do I feel like Pet Shop Boys' Go West? :)

Unfortunately the slavic block will be voting each other, so winners are probably there. As most finalists. I actually bet on Russia as this years' winner..

Hungary's song has some strange lyrics but oh the girl can sing. But lacking all that ESC merry-go-round cheekiness again. You ask why did Lordi win then? Because they are funny trash, after all!

Greetings to the UK HQ :)

Lithuania with smooth love song. Why is it that half of the entrants this year are slow, melancholic love songs?!? I'm beginning to miss DJ Bobo. Well, not yet.

It's a pity my favourite Cyprus didn't make it to the finals.

Now I really refuse to admit belonging to the same nation as the inserts.

Greece with.. something very Greek. "Cheeky Girl" : +10 points. Not really. I hope they didn't pay for the guy who made the lyrics. Well the boy is making an effort. Proper ESC trash!

First-timer Georgia puts all passion and heritage of their Caucasus nation into three minutes of ESC stage time.

Sweden. Oh dear Sweden. Douze points to the lead singer. Song is a piece of shit. Unfortunately. I could vote for him anyway, just because of the feathers and make up. What an entertaining performance!

Pity Danish Drama Queen didn't make it either.

Oh Krisse...

France with yet another chanson d'amour.. Time for mid-break.. Oh they found some energy into the song. An audiovisual tour de France.

Popped open a cava.

Latvia with yeat another love song. Baltian men in tuxedos. Since when did they start talking Italian in Latvia?!?

So Russia is in da house. Very calculated sugababes copy. I liked Tatu, they were original and controversial. These girls are just cheap ripp-offs.. But knowing slavic population, enthusiasm in ESC and neighbourhood support they might win.

Thumbs up for Germany. Last year cowboys, now jazz. Next year, what? Song was great, but totally out of context I'm afraid.

Serbia. Larger than life slavic passion. How can you put so many heart-bleeding heavy words into a single song and still be able to sing it?

Ukraina with their drag humour. Speechless. Our favourite for a winner!!! How cheerful and gay can you get? This is what Europe needs! The economies will revive, peace will be settled at the Balkans!

What's wrong with UK? In Finnish it was introduced as "Flying the Fag" :) That would have been more interesting. Jo, Bex, Jane, I feel sorry for you.
"Would you ike to suck something during the landing?" OMG?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Romania had last year a niceish Italian pop, now it's children song in 6 languages.. I want to hear some Romanian some day. Do I have to go there?

Bulgarian shamanish percussion introduction to 80's techno song spiced with Turkish spice. Not as bad as it sounds.

And going to Turkey itself. OMG, Lady Viola removed her knickers. The sparkling bottle is only half way... Anyway, what was I saying.. Oh yes, Turkey. The number of blondes in the country never ceases to amaze me. The story is pretty simple but nice show. Material for top-3 I'm afraid.

Armenia. More Caucasus heritage. Do they have red trees in Armenia?

Natalia Barbu from Moldova rocks! She was the other of my original favourites. Didn't have time to adjust her trousers, though. She was much better in the original video. I vote for her anyway. Viola stopped posing and gives 8 points.

Oooh it's voting time! Run for your phone! Is somebody there, by the way?

My non-conformant bets: Russia, Moldova, Ukraina, Spain. (runners-up: Bulgaria, Slovenia, Georgia, Turkey)

So are you voting?

Apocalyptica is a group of Finnish hard rock cellists.. Original and high quality in it's own way, though not quite my taste. They were originally classical players who accidentaly found they were hugely popular playing Metallica. Their hair rotation is classic ;-)

If you didn't know that Finland is full of heavy metal bands.. Well, now you know. If you were wondering how Finns are like.. Well, now you know.

I'm joking.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So here we go!

I know Serbia was one of pre favourites, but I didn't like them so I hope they won't hold their top position.

Oh the Greek speak Finnish too? I didn't know!

Hahaa! Ukraina is leading! I really hope they win :) :) :)

Arf! What can be done to get Serbia out of #1?

Thank you UK! The chance is living!

Which Macedonia killed. All disasters originate from the Balkans.

So the winner is overtly dramatic slavic pseudo-lesbian ballad from the Balkans. I'll continue finishing the sparkling and listen to my favourites from YouTube.


Good night and thank you for joining us tonight, Europe!

Over and out. Lady Viola passed out already.


- - - - - here be links - - - - -

Russia: Serebro, Song number one
Ukraine: Verka Serduchka, Lasha Tumbai
Bulgaria: Elitsa & Stoyan - Water
Moldova: Natalia Barbu, Fight
Cyprus: Evridiki, çomme ci comme ça

Destination Unknown

Now that I'm safely back home, I can tell I forgot my passport home when I went to Netherlands. No problems. Hail Schengen! Looks like I'm traveling too much.. Sunday heading to Ireland. Anybody there, drop me a line.

Alex Gaudino ft. Crystal Waters: Destination Unknown

When dreams come true

Remember when I promised to have an energized 2007? Well heck it's been just the first quarter and what a year it's been already.. Some other things I was dreaming of last autumn have realized too. What can one do when dreams come true? What should you do when you find your match? Live it to the max, if you ask me. Vado al massimo!

It's funny that the more happens and the crazier things get, the less I write or post pics about anything. Well poor you. I will try to write something. Unfortunately I'm saying that famous "I will try" too often nowadays as I'm just overwhelmed by many things in my life. Just recently I spent 3 hours at home in 2 week's time.. And that was my good night's sleep. Will head to airport tomorrow again.

I've been out practically every week. The pic above is from last Saturday. While drinking sparkling at DTM bar some girl took a photo of us and it got published in Papper, a swedish language urban youth magazine, in an article about sexual minorities and a special weekend they had last weekend. Somewhere in Flickr you can verify my 15cm skirt did flash my suspenders & fishnets rather generously. I got very very wasted and managed to destroy my brand new italian 4" heel boots - I lost one heel! Our danceshow with Milla (girlfriend) was again the attraction of the bar, I was told. Unfortunately I remember only parts the night. Oops, I did it again..


Jamelia - Beware of the Dog

I've always been a great fan of Depeche Mode, and this one's a cover with some kick-ass attitude.

Strange

For a moment I thought somebody is actually reading this, but then I checked and all I'm getting are loads and loads of hits from Google image search for my Hello Kitty image. Oh why? Help me mighty Becky, thou who can investigate any mystery in the net.

Now I will continue sulking and not writing as nobody is reading anyway.

Update: Woohoo - I'm hit #25 for image search on "tranny", surrounded by pictures of blown up gearboxes. Could that be the solution?

But I will still sulk. Maybe.

Is this real?

Greetings from Brussels.

I need a secretary.

My Visa card is damaged so it doesn't work properly and my mobile ceased working, presumably because I have forgotten to pay the bill. It's a surreal feeling to be abroad and have your phone switched off. I've had a mobile for over ten years already, always available and at hand. Hooray for internet now.

When I come home from my travels I have 10 kilos of post, throw half of it away and the rest somewhere else accumulating half a meter stacks of Things I Should React On. And how are you supposed to keep track of all the bills? And for gods sake, why doesn't the phone company send me a sms reminder? It's a phone company after all. Then I try to keep up with the tens of daily emails to organize several organizations and my private life which is rather multifaceted. And I hate routine work. Especially paying bills. Ok, I could do better, but I think I have a semi burn out as well. Working too much, partying too much and too many, sometimes tough things happening all the time.

I need a secretary. Keep your thumbs up I'll be able to return home.

Or then it's all a grand conspiracy and when I go to the airport the guys with black suits will come and you will never hear of me again.

Can't live without you

Did I say trannying is pop, ages ago when Robbie released She's Madonna?

Basic Element: To You

God this has been playing on radio charts for weeks but I hadn't seen the video. Milla (gggfriend) says I'm like that... Err... Oh we are just like that. Except I'm not that big and hopely look a bit cuter.

Survival in Hostile Environment

God Finnish TG scene suxx. It consists of extreme TS nutcases who have hijacked all the public internet forums, throwing their depressing hatred all around. Ridiculing trannies as roleplaying weirdo HPWs and attacking any other TS who's life is ok. Giving advice like "Have you tried suicide at least 3 times? No? Don't even dream about it" for poor young possible TSes asking about transitioning. Please go kill yourself. Then there are old trannies who don't go out because there's smoke and loud music in bars. Then there are young trannies who don't go out because they're too frightened and mostly post pictures of their bare ass to wanker forums. And then there are the HPWs, natch.

Okay, I know several lovely TSs. And some outgoing trannies. My fullhearted regards to you.

I've been trying to stay somewhat on fi radar, imagining maybe there exist young trannies needing an example. I think I will give up that idea. Bollocks.

I even played with the idea of making an Angels-like forum for Finnish TGs. Problem with current forums is they don't require registration and are full of anonymous lunatic TSs and tranny haters. Nobody was interested when I asked. Bollocks. Scrap that.


I will go out again and have a party after couple hours with my tranny friend Milla, my mindblowing girlfriend, several friends of theirs and we'll have loads of fun and meet interesting people. This time I might not be too wasted, even.


Looking forward to Sparkle. I have a dream and it's called Fook Mi.

Eurovision Countdown 2

I'm professionally informed. My bet goes on:
çomme ci comme ça of Cyprus and
Natalie Barbu of Moldova

My special prize on Best Christina Aquilera/Maxi Jazz Imitation goes for
Poland. Beware of the Polish Plumber.

Or take a look at
most of them. Special sympathy goes to DJ Bobo of Swizerland and Denmark with I'm Your drama queen tonight.

Finland suxx with Hanna Pakarinen: Leave Me Alone, but I cannot symphatize more the 2nd Lovex: Anyone Anymore.

Remember I told you first.

Now I promised the mother of all parties anyone coming to Finland for Eurovision. My place being the HQ. So?

Scientific Experimentation

Even though I haven't written anything for almost a month I have 15 daily readers? You must have gotten here accidentaly, hush, go away! ;)

Sometimes too much happens in life to have time to write about it. Or it's too personal. Or both.

To summarize, I've been out to town couple of times in between. The latest night got wilder than ever, I think I exceeded all my previous performances.. Then I was in Amsterdam, also some Valerie partying there. And the party was pretty hard, consider me trying to keep things sensible. Maybe I'll post some piccies and details later.

Now I'm suffering the mother of all influenzas, having +39C for the 4th day.

Update

Destiny has a funny way
When it comes and takes all your cares away
I can't think of a single thing
Other than what a beautiful state I'm in

What on earth am I meant to do
In this crowded place there is only you
Was gonna leave now I have to stay
You have taken my breath away

Is the world still spinning around
I don't feel like I'm coming down

It's in your eyes
I can tell what you're thinking
My heart is sinking too
It's no surprise
I've been watching you lately
I want to make it with you


Kylie: It's in your eyes

There's no denial to that anymore. God I'm enchanted. But for a reason.

On other front, I was out with due Milla & Taina on Sat. People were staring ;-) And a gay friend of mine whom I've known for over 10 years came and tried to pick me up. A memorable moment, a reply to his compliments: "Hi ****, how you doing?" He hadn't recognized me. Got him off-balance, but he still tried to pick me up. "Yeah I know there exists trannies who are into women, but don't you like men just a little bit?"

Livin' La Vida Loca

She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain.
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain
like a bullet to your brain. Come On!




Whatever happened to my tranny rehab?

We went to see Dream Queens drag show on Wednesday with Milla. I had a date originating from a certain champagne party, how extraordinary! Ended up having the #1 night by far. Major show, imagine two crazy semi-pro dancers releasing the energy. Supernova. Lipstick all over the face. People staring. I mean I'm used to people wathing, but staring. They should get a life of their own instead of marveling others having one.

Then there was the show. Mostly driven by Cristal Snow. MDQ 2005 Johan looks pretty cute, I think I never saw her before. I remember they did Trendy Discotheque (I can consult how it should be done in case somebody intends to do it again!) - 'twas nice to hear my anthem anyway. Sorry Dream Queens, but I had much more interesting things at hand.

Oh and two other girls were trying to join the continuation party. What can you say when a girl comes (with her tongue in your ear most of the time) "I always get so horny when I see drag queens like you, can we come with my girlfriend with you and have sex?" Err.. Err.. "I'm so extremely sorry honey but tonight I'm fully booked." Besides, I'm not a drag queen.

I just might have met my match when it comes to dancing, partying and having fun. She's hot. And crazy. Hot and crazy.

Sharam: (My girl wants to) Party all the time

Boogie Nights

Hope you ready

Are you ready, coz i am
said im ready to party yeah
grab your coat, get your key
coz whatever your drinkin'
its on me, its on me ohh

Stand if you want to
Stare if you want to
but i got to party
i need me a party
i came here to get ya
but i can't wait
to grab me a partner
and cut a rug up tonight


Booty Luv - Boogie 2Nite (Seamus Haji Big Love Remix)
Thanks Milla for link!




I might try to write something about Saturday. Later. Hopely before next party, otherwise forget it, I'm afraid.
Summary:
-We had new mops, I was a brunette. Blondes have more fun they say. I really don't know. Could even disagree. But I do feel more comfortable as a blonde.
-Milla was seriously seriously wasted when we went there, did some naughty things
-I worked to exceed that as soon as possible
-DJ's were really really energising the dancefloor
-We made a proper proper show
-We had fun fun fun
-Destroyed Milla's home liquor stock, Moet including
-With a proper continuation party
-..and the curtain falls on the details
-watch this space
-Trannies have more fun!

Amsterdam explained

Ingredients for a good night out in Amsterdam:

1. Check out www.travestie.org and their good calendar on events and places. For hooking up with locals they have plenty of Dutch tranny profiles too, but if your Dutch is a little rusty, you're just out of luck.. Might try some international sites like tvchix or urna instead.
2. Go to Rembrantplein which seems to be the center of nightlife. Lellebel seems to be THE tranny place in town, so a good spot to start the night with drag queen bartenders and a mixed crowd.
3. Proceed to the neighbourhood LGBT & normal discos.
4. Drink, dance & have fun
5. If you're gonna walk back home, don't have too high heels and try to figure out where you're going. Amsterdam is by the way very safe city in my opinion.



So Valerie ventured into the Sin City night. Lots of fun. Unfortunately I managed to book a hotel that was on completely opposite side of city from Rembrandtplein. What the heck, the 24h public transport ticket (6,50e) is convenient. I was wondering beforehand a little the reactions I might make in a posh 5 star hotel but what the heck, I'm a hot confident chick, especially after a bottle of Shiraz. Walked through the tourist hell walking streets to catch a tram. No reactions at all. Took tram. Some older Dutch gentleman explained me something mysterious, but couldn't unfortunately speak English. Later I thought maybe I was sitting in elderly people's place or something.

I had tried to hook up with locals, but filtering out all nicks like pvc_sub_tranny_slut_in_bondage I was left with very few candidates. Why is it that trannies in Central Europe seem to be so much more into kinky action? Or is it just the ones that are in the net? Got prompt replies for my inquiries but unfortunately they couldn't make it. Thanks for the advices anyway!



After getting a little lost I found it into Lellebel. Wow. A bar the size half of my kitchen. With a quick glance the situation was like this (in the very very packed bar remember): drag barmaids (2 pieces), TVs (2 pieces), TSs (2 pieces), horny admirers (15 pieces). Very quickly ordered my VRB #1 and positioned myself next to The Other Tranny. While the turkish taxi driver behind me was probing my selection of knickers for the night, I befriended with the tranny and we found out we both like to dance and had similar plans for the night. Instant agreement of a night together. She was with a ggirl colleague who she went to pick up for a night out on town as a girl, never having been told her being a tranny. Cool. And the girl was totally cool and fun about this new revelation too.

So we went to You II LGBT club to have a good dance. Place was smallish but a proper bar/club agreed, half empty when we entered but got properly packed while we were dancing.

She wanted to continue the night in Club 80, but the queue was so apalling we retreated, and went to a club called Sinners. Despite the name it was just a normal (very hetero too) nightclub in two floors. Spent the rest of the night there. Walked back to hotel. What an idea.


Was fun. Will replay.

Did I tell you my favourite bling bling teen princess shop in Amsterdam had -70% sale?

Pink: U + UR hand

Chips n Mayo

I'm teaching the Dutch my famous How To Build Your SOA Enterprise System In Three Days And Smoke Pot Rest Of The Week. My tranny radar is on. I could swear Siobhan is on the course. The hair and all.

I'm gonna have couple of free nights in Amsterdam, and I packed Valerie along just in case. (Yeah I'm on rehab but...) Any pointers where to go? My ***** hotel states dogs under knee height are welcome. How about trannies with less than knee height skirts?

Transpocalypse II

Transpocalypse II - check.

I flew to Manchester on Friday, and it was mother of all snowstorms in Helsinki. Flight was delayed 2 hours, which is pretty remarkable. Snow isn't usually a problem in Finland, it's normal. Annoying thing was they packed the plane and cheerfully promised the flight won't be delayed, and what happens? We sat in the plane on the runway. Not even serving free drinks! Doh! Additionally I missed my train and arrived in Liverpool quite late in the evening.



Jo had checked into hotel earlier and scouted the area. We had a quick meal and prepared for the night. Went to check two places, Superstar Boudoir and Navy Bar. Both were pretty crammed, and although supposed to be LGBT places especially Boudoir's atmosphere was very straight. It has a drag queen on the door welcoming people but other than that I think we were the only trannies around. Looks like they don't have cloak rooms in Liverpool bars. Better leave jackets in the hotel tomorrow. Couple funny incidents in Navy Bar, while queueing to the ladies' a girl started looking and interviewing are we fellas? She went all excited that there were fellas in the ladies.. I got an offer for a 12 inch Brazilian but declined politely the opportunity.

Action started on Saturday. Powered by a Farmhouse breakfast we did some shopping and general walking around town. We went to sleep around 4 (poor Jo had to wake up 7.30 to feed the parking meter) and woke up moderately early so an afternoon recharge was on the agenda. Met Becky and Jane briefly at coffee as they arrived to town. Official program started at Lisbon bar with predrinks. We headed there with Clarissa who had just joined us for some hotel room warming up. I had worked most of the Finlandia vodka while preparing and was ready for take off. Or I think I had taken off already.. Our hotel and all downtown Liverpool had been transformed into a huge hen party disneyland. Trannies go pretty well with hen parties. The people arrived to Lisbon, we had a couple of drinks and chat before heading for the Chinese dinner. Dinner was nice, some 20 people around long table. Was nice to meet Pandora, Isobel, Chrissy, Penny, (Sophie and Jessica very briefly) and the friends and partners of those mentioned..



After the dinner we went to Navy Bar where the official party was supposed to continue. Place was so full it was difficult to move, and people wanted to check out something else. Ended up in some even more packed bar where it was impossible to dance. Don't remember the name but they had a drag queen DJ. Something like 2 am we called it a night (or did Jo decide again I had partied enough for the night?) and went back to hotel. According to photographic evidence I passed out in full gear, with an unfinished drink in my hand. Well, the next morning I learnt somebody had much more bizarre end of the night..



I'm in BA lounge killing time and trying to stay awake. The place is so deserted it's creepy. Becky's and Jo's blogs are blocked because they are categorized as pornography. You saucy minx.

I'm all ready for tranny rehab.

Hello Liverpool

It's Transpocalypse II, and like Jo, I've packed. In my own way - see above.

Dallas Superstars: Fine Day

Anniversary

Exactly one year ago I went out dressed first time. Yesterday was the anniversary party.



This time Milla came to my place to prepare. Arrived in Dtm at midnight and darn, no queue even at that time. When can we put our VIP cards into good use?

Check the pictures if you're interested in essentials of the night.. You know what? A lot in one year. If earlier I wouldn't have imagined I would be some day doing the things we do with Milla, now I feel I wouldn't have believed any tranny doing these things. Well, Karol Cross and April Angell, maybe ;-). I feel like Alice in Wonderland. How deep does the rabbit hole go?

While Milla was in illegal state I drove back and we had a movie incident on the motorway. All night had been a snowstorm and roads were extremely icy. Some Volvo driver decided to race us and sped up from 120km/h forward.. His car started swerving from side to side, spun several times on the motorway, slid sideways to ditch and neighbouring road and finally stopped with spinning. I anticipated his lose of control immediately, started braking, put hazards on and was ready to call 911 (well, 112 here) and run for Tranny First Aid in my high heel boots. But woah! What a lucky bastard. He didn't hit anything, didn't roll, and looks like nobody was hurt. The driver waved us that everything was ok and we continued back home. Wonder how his car managed it, though.

Hi Tak: Say Say Say

She's Madonna

Ooh! Robbie Williams in drag in his latest vid!

Robbie interview + video

I bet there will be tons of commenting on this, but I'll just say my initial impression. I think it presents trannies somewhat positively. We are pop?!? Will we (finally) see an avalanche of wannabe-trannies, because it's so trendy?

I have always liked Robbie.

PS: Doesn't he look like Mira Dee?

Mother (and Dad, Uncle, Niece, Dog and Bicycle) of all Party Reports

Well, a mere summary as usual..

1. Acclimatization

Whoever invented a three day cruise trip to Stockholm as 24h girls was a super idea? Me? Oh bugger. I had butterflies in my stomach entering the terminal, equipped with enough clothes to host a fashion show. I had already given up the idea of going from the very beginning as a girl. Helsinki-Stockholm cruise ships are well-known for teenagers getting wasted with tax free booze. How would two trannies fit there? In the end my presumptions proved to be wrong, ships were pretty relaxed, mostly older people and a lot of Russians. And besides, deep inside, I am a teenager wanting to get wasted on tax free booze. So we fit in perfectly..
Original plan included starting girlie life at dinner, but we escaped even that by taking the chance to eat at the fully booked a la carte - immediately, with no time to make up.

Stocked with a champagne and two whiskies from tax free we started making up in our luxury cabin. Couple Ave Marias and off we went to the night! First went to Perfumerie to buy new powder. Funny how 30e Dior has such a luxury feeling compared to my old 5e H&M one.. Makeup industry is magic!

Didn't make a riot there but almost: bunch of Russian teenagers entered the place and a guy said strastuite(hello!) behind me. I turned and replied him (I do speak some) and the guy and 3 girls froze and stared mouths open. Then they started smiling widely and making a lot of noise. We got compliments and everybody wanted to be photographed with us.
Please let me keep my theory that from behind they didn't identify us and thought we were Russians. Russian women dress and make up a lot more saucier than Finnish so it could be. And as Mila earlier reported, average Russians have never met any trans people and have very open minded and interested attitude when they meet one. Well our encounter was very positive for sure. Later the night we were always waving and shouting when we met the cutie Russian girls around the boat. Gave one girl my Valerie card so if you read this, hello, was very nice to meet you!!!




Next we went to check the atmosphere at show nightclub, ship's main venue. There were plenty of people watching the band and waiting for the midnight show. Place was dark so we were not getting much attention, only a couple long looks. Had some drinks and walking around, but pretty boring. Went walking around the boat but things were pretty quiet. Time for party so we ascended to the top deck disco. At first atmosphere seemed like stiff and not promising much for the night. Grabbed drinks and went sitting. We played with a mobile phone we had found a little earlier. Sent SMS to "Mom" telling "Mom, I've lost my mobile!!!" which caused her to call us very puzzled :) As there was some nice dance music coming I didn't bother about the atmosphere any more and we conquered the dance floor.
Ending up dancing there a couple hours. A bit trashed, we decided to retire to cabin before closing time as we had two more party nights ahead of us anyway.

I successfully recruited Milla to take some lingerie shots in the cabin. We were laughing that after posting those to flickr, trying to explain being a normal, heterosexual man is a futile effort. Strange what things are extremely funny wasted at 4 am. Like a pillow fight, which I tried to have but Milla passed out. It's not fun for long alone so I soon joined.



2. Global Warming

After a breakfast in cabin we had most chaotic dressing, making up and packing for Stockholm. Gosh I remembered one more thing I hate about cruise ships: they arrive in nonspeakable early hours, like 9 am, and then they try to throw you immediately out of the place. Trannies with hangover and beard, who just went to sleep couple hours earlier don't get mercy..

So we were out in Sweden in full girlie outlook! First time in normal situation, full daylight. Yay!

Took taxi from harbor to hotel and tried to book in. No luck, we were gonna wait for 3 hours for availability. Obviously time for sightseeing & shopping. Our hotel, Scandic Sergelplaza was optimally situated in the very heart of the city. Had a walk along Drottningsgatan to King's Castle, the standard Via Dolorosa of all hangover cruise guests. Weather was a bit harsh and we decided we were not so much into sightseeing after all, and went for a latte instead. Funny incident, a middle-East guy comes from the kitchen and wants to talk with us. He was extremely interested why we dress and are our boobs real.. Funny guy!







Did some shopping in small boutiques and found a nice dress. First time shopping and trying out clothes in normal shops! Yay! Walked to a lingerie shop Flirt Fashion Milla wanted to check out. Then I realized a must visit: H&M Stockholm! :) Shopping there until we almost really dropped. Well melted at least.

Back to hotel, and we decided an afternoon nap would be like putting money into bank. A bank where you debit on all these tranny nights. At hotel entrance the waiting taxi drivers that had gathered for a chat were whistling for us seriously.. A free ride tonight?

After that hard earned nap we called for room service, ate and had a bath (not together you silly!). And killed a Moet&Chandon. And started working with the two teenager whiskies. It was gonna be serious party time! We had wlan in the room so we uploaded some pics to flickr and tried to cause some stir in Finnish tranny chat.



We were going to Lino Club which has a very bling website claiming it to be the number #1 gay/lessie club in town. The place? Three smallish separate rooms with own bars and music. Beginning of the night was quiet but somewhere around 2 am it got packed. Didn't sight any trannies. Had couple of chats with Swedish guys, but it was almost remarkable how little interest we got from people. Could be because it was indeed gay/lessie club? Usually the craziest contacts I've had have been with bi and hetero girls who just ventured to LGBT world for fun.. Cannot help comparing the place to our home turf Dtm, and boy, are we lucky! It's a super place for having a party. Lino was ok but not much happening. So we stocked with drinks and danced the night away on the floor.



I had tried to get some Swedish tranny inside tips, but it had been a futile effort. Hallå Sweden? Where are all the trannies? There are not many in the net, a lot less who answer mail, and we met nobody in Stockholm. Judging from people's reactions trannies are not an everyday sight in Sweden either. My world is shaken. After all we Finns are convinced all Swedes are gay :) Ah the love and hate of neighbours..

Somehow we managed to get back to hotel 4 am, where we continued the party. We were so trashed we were mostly laughing at each other. Called for room service again but our order never materialized?! I swear I did give the room number right. Although I've no idea what I ordered.






3. Overheating

Waking up I didn't have to look in the mirror to tell that I still had my makeup on. Our lights had been effectively switched off. Lucky I found myself in the bed. And it was my bed. New day, new life. Bath with a whisky HOT, hotel breakfast NOT. Gosh I'm really getting alcoholic. Again we had to dress, make up and pack 'til 12 to check out. Chaotic, but routine. How come the desk clerk greeted us cheerfully "Yes I rememember you from yesterday" ?!?

Went walking out again, but our feet did not take us far. Sweden was embracing for extremely hard winter storm, and weather was accordingly. Saw an advertisement for a Thai buffet, which didn't require long negotiation. Spent couple of hours eating Swedish Thai buffet and drinking Thai beer. I tried to order in Thai but the waitress was out of business. Dunno if she was a Thai after all, although it's very common for Thais to be totally unable to understand foreigners, however perfect Thai they speak. Went then to a net cafe to surf with a latte. Tried to cause even more stir in Finnish tranny chat. Strange how the whole chat gets quiet after a couple of comments about our adventures... Well not strange, really. Too many wuzzies, if you ask me. If you tell them you've just rocked a Swedish nightclub, got totally, seriously wasted, went sightseeing and shopping and ask for advice how to spend the frickin' last 3 hangover hours waiting for the boat to leave, you have zero response.. Am I now earning a Bad Ass Tranny status?!?






So seriously, to hotel to have a final GT. Caught a taxi to terminal. With her hairstyle and big smile for trashed trannies, the taxi driver was definitely a lumberjack dyke. Didn't spot her chainsaw though. Into the boat and cabin checkin. I got a feeling It's happening again. Actually I like passed out recharged momentarily while Milla went to tax free.. Ordering more coke to go with the 12 y.o. Glenfiddich. Actually I think we had a nap again. You know, the hardest thing about being a 24/7 tranny is shaving. With normal beard growth, you have to clean up twice a day and shave to look acceptable. So errmm. After Milla provided the mixer we started destroying the rest of our stock. The Ultimate Party Tranny Test #2: how does your make up look like if you do it after respectable amount of refreshments? Dior Splash? (Dare you ask about Test #1?)

So we reproduced most of the first night's program: went to Night Club to see the midnight show, had drinks, got bored, went walking around ship - were hungry and went to eat some - and went to the top deck disco.



This time I didn't have any inhibitions, so went straight to bar, had some drinks and waited for good music. The bartenders were in the party immediately, couple of lovely lady ones. After a moment two Norwegian guys entered the place and locked on us like heat-seeking missiles. OMG. Got compliments all over, the other one grabbed my vodka red bull and tried to impress me with his drink-spinning skills which resulted in a vodka red bull suit and a tranny heading to dance floor. The other one was not so wasted and was actually rather sympathic, Milla was chatting long time with him while I was warming up the dance floor. I do think my performance caused the bartenders to have the time of their lives. At least the most fun that night. Hmm.. Especially over two promilles, I have a serious aspiration for dance floor domination... So we danced and I danced and we drinked and I danced. Grrr the evil DJ refused to play any Basshunter! It's cheesy but you cannot have a party in Sweden without Basshunter! And all of a sudden the place was closed. Nyt jo? Normipäivä! Went to eat again after disco closed. Rule number #1 of Better Mornings - don't pass out without eating. As it was our last night I totally refused to go to sleep, and kept playing music and drinking (and forcing Milla to drink, even she was trying to get sleep) the remains of our stock until 6 am ++.

Woke up two hours later to pack and exit to Normal Life. OMG. Well we did play with the idea of going straight to Dtm and continue the party. Realism won, (un?)fortunately.


This is a true story. Only one liver was harmed while writing this, two while realizing the scenes. Life and trannying should not be taken too seriously. I'm not taking particular pride in the amount of alcohol consumed, but that's the way I'm wired when it's party time. I'm Finnish, after all. We produce the world's best vodka and all citizens are required to take part in marketing. As I was joking with Milla, we should sell online webcast of our partying. Lot of action. Anyone subscribing?


Let me just remind you where it all began.. Pay TV: Trendy Discotheque
Swedish electroschlager!

Killing time

Hälsningar från Stockholm. We're in internet cafe with Milla, killing the 3 hours before boat leaves back to Helsinki. Terrible hangover. Sweden is embracing to strong winter storm, people were told to stay indoors. Now hope our mops don't fly away.



I will try to tell more about the trip. Later. It ain't over yet!!!

You have been warned

Stockholm Beware!!!

September: Satellites

You know Sweden?

Welcome to Sweden!

Ok. The Finnish midsummer is just the same except we don't have the pole. We're dancing around the grill.

Ett-två-tre

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