It's just the hot summer

I'm not dead you know.



Went out last Saturday. I have bought several different wigs during the Spring and finally decided to try my red hair. Milla Love wanted to trim it and did a fabulous job on it. I looked rather good with it, although I don't like it's very clear division of hair on top.. Will venture more into redheads, promise.

Anyhoo, there was some leather gay club meeting upstairs Dtm and I just couldn't resist playing with fire when I saw that cute and charismatic guy ;-) He was French which is my worst language so couldn't really communicate.

Had a ball with my bestest friends Milla-tv & Mila and naturally my fiance. Downed three bottles of sparkling, a number of vrb's and some shots - don't remember anything of the end of the night but I was reminded of some features the following day. Milla Love is a card-carrying member of the same club plus she had a porcelain long distance call and passed out half naked on floor. Again. No wonder everybody says we are made for each other. Actually we did have a reason for major party, it was exactly six months ago we met and had our first kiss in the same bar.

Funny, I think I'm starting to have a fan club in the place.



On the same lines as Becky, I've been feeling passive about blogging and flickr posting for a long time, trying to force myself keep my presence.. Nah. You know, after I've gathered a certain amount of wonderful friends, experienced things, it's so easy to just feel comfortable in the sandbox I've created and simply enjoy being. But I promise not start gathering moss, there will be things coming ;)

Happily ever after

Guess I should update with the latest news: we're engaged and getting married with Milla.

I could write a novel or two on what has happened during the last six months. We have been through paradise to storms and back many times and still adore each other.

Je t'aime.

Christina Aguilera: Candyman

Tracing continues

Frickin hell! My luggage was delivered to my London Hotel on Tuesday. Tough luck I left on Friday and they were well aware of that. Now Helsinki is waiting for Heathrow to bring them back. I've almost given up anyway.

We are capable of landing in Moon but not keeping track of a bag.

LND (Cry me a river)

Came back from London last night. Heathrow was in state of chaos, I queued two hours for check-in and then security screening. Plane was one and half hours late. Well, luckily. Nobody still has any idea where my baggage is. All make up and most of jewellery gone. Lots of clothes and shoes. Gonna be fun filing the insurance claim.

Went on Wednesday with Karol & Todd to Two2Much club in Soho. As a boy, because it was impossible to get a wig & boobs working all the days in & out. Had lots of fun anyway, Karol is good company and a lovely person. Too much fun, as the following morning at work I was still quite properly drunk. OMG. I'll take some holiday in London dedicated for partying.

Thursday I saw Clarissa for a peaceful after work pint and Italian dinner - in a slightly more upmarket place than she had thought :)

Last two weeks - with all their twists and turns - showed me again how wonderful friends I have accumulated.


* * *

Life is letting me drink so deeply from its cup I have to be very grateful, but sometimes I pay a great price. Ironically, within a week's time I am now saying goodbye to all the three women I have really loved during the last years.. So much love, hopeless crying and trying come to an end.

Nelly Furtado: All good things (come to an end)

I'm off to sea for a while. That's a place where I have peace of mind.

City 7 a.m.

Standing in hot shower this morning 7 a.m. I felt exhausted. I'm sick and tired of booking hotels and flights, rushing to planes, losing my baggage, wondering my Visa credit, going all the time to new places working with people I will never meet again. Coming back home to find a pile of bills overdue, mould in fridge and trying miserably to manage my other parts of life.

I just want to sleep late, sit on my country house stairs in sunshine with a fresh espresso, with my stupid but cute cats. Have nothing important to do but moving the lawn.

Maybe with someone. Time for decisions.

Fcuk

I frickin' lost my baggage coming here. Now if I won't get it by Wednesday how on earth am I gonna go clubbing as Valerie?

Bloody awful of Finnair. The second time within a week they lost my baggage.

Helsinki airport was just madness, people going to holidays. Bloody tourists, they should have their own terminal. Actually, they should travel by bus. Or walk. Come to think of it, they should stay home. Had to bypass all the queues to just and just catch the plane.

I'm camping in The Chamberlain. Come here and let's have a party!

Broke up

Is there anything more tearful than tranny love life?

*sigh*


Justin Timberlake: What Goes Around (Comes Back Around)

Based on a true story.

Destination LHR

Who you gonna call when there's an emergency situation in London? I'll be flying there on Sunday afternoon for a 5 day job. Looking forward to having some girly fun too. Although after Sparkle I joined the Anonymous Alcoholic Trannies' Support Group. Again.

How many days per year you have to spend in UK to get citizenship? With my current rate I could cancel my Finnish one at least.

The week after I'm expecting to have a nordic surprise act in Helsinki. Stay tuned :)

Sparkle: Full report

Went to Manchester. Got wasted. Had Fun. And oh, there were 1.000 other trannies too.


Seriously, finally got home. I will be so overwhelmed by work by next couple of days I'll write something later. Just big hugs to my friends old and new (you know my address, send me mail and I'll get in touch with you).

It was the wildest party in my life. And others agree.

6 am eternal

Just got back to hotel. Tonight's party was *****. Period.

Mel C: I turn to you

Mid-term resurrection

After lying hours in a (empty) bathtub I think I od'd yesterday with vodka red bull. and red wine. and whiskey. and champagne. Now that I'm coming to terms with my frickin head again I guess I better start preparing for tonight.

Was great to see everybody, have some chats and dancing. Tonight will be even better because I will try to remember what I do.

Sorry if I was a bitch. Unfortunately I am sometimes when I have too many. But I'm cute bitch. I love you all, really.

So let's go again!

Sparkle: The Arrival

Arrived at The Place this morning. I was feeling a bit weak in the plane as I was quietly enjoying couple of drinks and chasing Milla with lawnmover the night before.
As usual we were hugely late at check in and Milla's baggage didn't arrive to Manchester. After bitching about it for one hour she got drunk, forgot about it and passed out. Now we are preparing for the night, probably going to survey the Village. Jo arrived too and we'll see soon..

Letters to the Management:

Dear Sir(s),

While I appreciate your spacious bathroom facilities with generous mirror, it is utterly annoying that the bathroom shelves are all inclined outwards. All the makeup continues to fall out.

Yours faithfully,
Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong, Mrs.

P.S. I have never kissed the editor of the radio times.

Country Girl

Country Girl is coming to town!

Primal Scream: Country Girl

Tranny Footprint

My Tranny Footprint

I emit as much trannieness as:

everyone at Sparkle

Calculate your tranny footprint at BeckysWeb!

(Which is logically impossible, as I'm at Sparkle too!)

Besides being a wonderful person Becky is the sharpest pen in tranny blogosphere, and one of the original sources of my inspiration. I'll tell you about it. Later. Now I'm too busy going to sauna, drinking Cranberry Finlandia Vodka and doing my pre-Sparkle defuzz.

And this is not a warm up for next week, Bex, just an occasion to give you credit! :)


PS: Blogger auto language detection is nice, provided you're in your native territory. Couple of weeks ago in Istanbul was... err... interesting. That was the most Turkish I ever learnt.

Sparkle Countdown

Hotel The Place - check
Tickets HEL-MAN - check
New pink camera - check

I haven't bought new clothes for ages so I'll have to check my inventory and see if I have to go shopping. On Thursday I'll hit Manchester with due Milla, neither of which have been to England before. We'll be staying at The Place until Monday, so should be a proper party do! Gosh I have been waiting for Sparkle! So nice to attend the mother of all tranny parties, the party that made me who I am. So nice to see all my English friends, and maybe meet some new. I feel like going to the class reunion after 10 years, a little nervous to see how my best friends have been doing lately, hoping everything would be as much fun as "back then".

I know. It will. Manchester, watch out :).



I didn't go out for two months until last weekend, longest break ever since I started going out. Which is not so long ago, honestly. Been just too busy and usually it's not lightweight partying what happens if I go out. To give you an impression, let's see what happened..

I prepared at my gfriend Milla's parent's place with her and her friend. We had quite a proper amount of drinks before calling a taxi to DTM. Entering the place standard bottle of sparkling, then some considerable amount of drinks and dancing. Lot of fun together. Where time stopped, gfriend Milla came and threw her strawberry margarita on my white clothes and ran away. She declared on phone we're divorced as she's not so important to me. I cried on her friend's shoulder and he took us to sleep at his friend's place. Rewind (based on 3rd party stories). While she was spending time with her friends I was dancing with other girls, and when she later found me I was sitting on a couch and a turkish taxi driver was trying to find his way into my panties. At that point I hardly even knew my name let alone the nationality or sex of my companion, but as Milla was in similar condition she drew conclusions in a nanosecond and reacted.

The next day I ended up walking through Helsinki with ladies' white (ex, changed mostly into the color of strawberry) capris and a borrowed t-shirt and nothing else (like shoes) to see Milla and get back normal. Half an hour of talking and everything was perfect again. Sat night we went to party again, I was in boy mode this time. Milla said all gays were drooling on me, and our dance show attracted the attention as usual.

Just a standard night out, again.

We love each other to bits and know we're made for each other, but both of us are temperamentic, sometimes frighteningly so.




"8.6.2007. I'm really happy for you! In addition that you look good on the dance floor you are a very nice person :) Regards, Sari"

I got this slip from a girl at DTM. Milla got similar one a moment before. It's so nice to feel accepted and loved by everyone. Sari, if you're ever reading this, thanks a lot.

Latest development

Greetings from Europe's last frontier.

Eurovision 2007

Welcome to the Eurovision 2007 HQ hosted by Valerie S & Lady Viola.

Helsinki is totally packed with people from all around Europe with huge downtown outdoors viewing arena in addition to the actual stage. Which is told to be spectacular.

Hah, Lordi's new video of their last year success. They really have capitalized their success businesswise I can tell.

Of the hosts, Jaana is moderate celebrity originating from tv quizes, Mikko is the most handsome Finnish young actor (and a singer a bit too).

Bosnia-Herzegovina starts with actually quite nice song featuring strange green river nymphs. But lacks all the cheekiness of a ESC success.

Spain's boyband kicks ass next. Rumours tell Viola's gay friends vote for them ;-)

Belarus with their version of Bond theme presented by the satin wearing doll boy. Doesn't impress much.

Oh the Finnish inserts with ice-swimming naked people are... well typical Finnish.

OMG Ireland?!? Woodstock and World Aid meets Eurovision Irish folk music carrying the message. Zero points.

Finland presented by the former fork lift driver, Idols winner Hanna Pakarinen. Leave Me Alone. Did somebody think it's Lordi again? Not bad, but I'm not fan of the song. Which is is also sidestep from Hanna's previous pop career. Viola 7 points, Valerie 2 points.

That wasn't an accident. Krisse is a famous tv-show host with her character always over-simple, over-enthusiastic, over-barbie teen princess.

Macedonia presents the shortest skirt so far. +2 points. One dancer has to be carried on stage. -1 points. Oh the singer had to be carried as well. What did they drink before the performance? Rakija?

Bloody hell! Why all the inserts are from Lapland, in winter, with strange people. I refuse to admit living in the same country!

Nice socialist march anthem from Slovenia. Why do I feel like Pet Shop Boys' Go West? :)

Unfortunately the slavic block will be voting each other, so winners are probably there. As most finalists. I actually bet on Russia as this years' winner..

Hungary's song has some strange lyrics but oh the girl can sing. But lacking all that ESC merry-go-round cheekiness again. You ask why did Lordi win then? Because they are funny trash, after all!

Greetings to the UK HQ :)

Lithuania with smooth love song. Why is it that half of the entrants this year are slow, melancholic love songs?!? I'm beginning to miss DJ Bobo. Well, not yet.

It's a pity my favourite Cyprus didn't make it to the finals.

Now I really refuse to admit belonging to the same nation as the inserts.

Greece with.. something very Greek. "Cheeky Girl" : +10 points. Not really. I hope they didn't pay for the guy who made the lyrics. Well the boy is making an effort. Proper ESC trash!

First-timer Georgia puts all passion and heritage of their Caucasus nation into three minutes of ESC stage time.

Sweden. Oh dear Sweden. Douze points to the lead singer. Song is a piece of shit. Unfortunately. I could vote for him anyway, just because of the feathers and make up. What an entertaining performance!

Pity Danish Drama Queen didn't make it either.

Oh Krisse...

France with yet another chanson d'amour.. Time for mid-break.. Oh they found some energy into the song. An audiovisual tour de France.

Popped open a cava.

Latvia with yeat another love song. Baltian men in tuxedos. Since when did they start talking Italian in Latvia?!?

So Russia is in da house. Very calculated sugababes copy. I liked Tatu, they were original and controversial. These girls are just cheap ripp-offs.. But knowing slavic population, enthusiasm in ESC and neighbourhood support they might win.

Thumbs up for Germany. Last year cowboys, now jazz. Next year, what? Song was great, but totally out of context I'm afraid.

Serbia. Larger than life slavic passion. How can you put so many heart-bleeding heavy words into a single song and still be able to sing it?

Ukraina with their drag humour. Speechless. Our favourite for a winner!!! How cheerful and gay can you get? This is what Europe needs! The economies will revive, peace will be settled at the Balkans!

What's wrong with UK? In Finnish it was introduced as "Flying the Fag" :) That would have been more interesting. Jo, Bex, Jane, I feel sorry for you.
"Would you ike to suck something during the landing?" OMG?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Romania had last year a niceish Italian pop, now it's children song in 6 languages.. I want to hear some Romanian some day. Do I have to go there?

Bulgarian shamanish percussion introduction to 80's techno song spiced with Turkish spice. Not as bad as it sounds.

And going to Turkey itself. OMG, Lady Viola removed her knickers. The sparkling bottle is only half way... Anyway, what was I saying.. Oh yes, Turkey. The number of blondes in the country never ceases to amaze me. The story is pretty simple but nice show. Material for top-3 I'm afraid.

Armenia. More Caucasus heritage. Do they have red trees in Armenia?

Natalia Barbu from Moldova rocks! She was the other of my original favourites. Didn't have time to adjust her trousers, though. She was much better in the original video. I vote for her anyway. Viola stopped posing and gives 8 points.

Oooh it's voting time! Run for your phone! Is somebody there, by the way?

My non-conformant bets: Russia, Moldova, Ukraina, Spain. (runners-up: Bulgaria, Slovenia, Georgia, Turkey)

So are you voting?

Apocalyptica is a group of Finnish hard rock cellists.. Original and high quality in it's own way, though not quite my taste. They were originally classical players who accidentaly found they were hugely popular playing Metallica. Their hair rotation is classic ;-)

If you didn't know that Finland is full of heavy metal bands.. Well, now you know. If you were wondering how Finns are like.. Well, now you know.

I'm joking.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So here we go!

I know Serbia was one of pre favourites, but I didn't like them so I hope they won't hold their top position.

Oh the Greek speak Finnish too? I didn't know!

Hahaa! Ukraina is leading! I really hope they win :) :) :)

Arf! What can be done to get Serbia out of #1?

Thank you UK! The chance is living!

Which Macedonia killed. All disasters originate from the Balkans.

So the winner is overtly dramatic slavic pseudo-lesbian ballad from the Balkans. I'll continue finishing the sparkling and listen to my favourites from YouTube.


Good night and thank you for joining us tonight, Europe!

Over and out. Lady Viola passed out already.


- - - - - here be links - - - - -

Russia: Serebro, Song number one
Ukraine: Verka Serduchka, Lasha Tumbai
Bulgaria: Elitsa & Stoyan - Water
Moldova: Natalia Barbu, Fight
Cyprus: Evridiki, çomme ci comme ça

Destination Unknown

Now that I'm safely back home, I can tell I forgot my passport home when I went to Netherlands. No problems. Hail Schengen! Looks like I'm traveling too much.. Sunday heading to Ireland. Anybody there, drop me a line.

Alex Gaudino ft. Crystal Waters: Destination Unknown

When dreams come true

Remember when I promised to have an energized 2007? Well heck it's been just the first quarter and what a year it's been already.. Some other things I was dreaming of last autumn have realized too. What can one do when dreams come true? What should you do when you find your match? Live it to the max, if you ask me. Vado al massimo!

It's funny that the more happens and the crazier things get, the less I write or post pics about anything. Well poor you. I will try to write something. Unfortunately I'm saying that famous "I will try" too often nowadays as I'm just overwhelmed by many things in my life. Just recently I spent 3 hours at home in 2 week's time.. And that was my good night's sleep. Will head to airport tomorrow again.

I've been out practically every week. The pic above is from last Saturday. While drinking sparkling at DTM bar some girl took a photo of us and it got published in Papper, a swedish language urban youth magazine, in an article about sexual minorities and a special weekend they had last weekend. Somewhere in Flickr you can verify my 15cm skirt did flash my suspenders & fishnets rather generously. I got very very wasted and managed to destroy my brand new italian 4" heel boots - I lost one heel! Our danceshow with Milla (girlfriend) was again the attraction of the bar, I was told. Unfortunately I remember only parts the night. Oops, I did it again..


Jamelia - Beware of the Dog

I've always been a great fan of Depeche Mode, and this one's a cover with some kick-ass attitude.

Strange

For a moment I thought somebody is actually reading this, but then I checked and all I'm getting are loads and loads of hits from Google image search for my Hello Kitty image. Oh why? Help me mighty Becky, thou who can investigate any mystery in the net.

Now I will continue sulking and not writing as nobody is reading anyway.

Update: Woohoo - I'm hit #25 for image search on "tranny", surrounded by pictures of blown up gearboxes. Could that be the solution?

But I will still sulk. Maybe.

Is this real?

Greetings from Brussels.

I need a secretary.

My Visa card is damaged so it doesn't work properly and my mobile ceased working, presumably because I have forgotten to pay the bill. It's a surreal feeling to be abroad and have your phone switched off. I've had a mobile for over ten years already, always available and at hand. Hooray for internet now.

When I come home from my travels I have 10 kilos of post, throw half of it away and the rest somewhere else accumulating half a meter stacks of Things I Should React On. And how are you supposed to keep track of all the bills? And for gods sake, why doesn't the phone company send me a sms reminder? It's a phone company after all. Then I try to keep up with the tens of daily emails to organize several organizations and my private life which is rather multifaceted. And I hate routine work. Especially paying bills. Ok, I could do better, but I think I have a semi burn out as well. Working too much, partying too much and too many, sometimes tough things happening all the time.

I need a secretary. Keep your thumbs up I'll be able to return home.

Or then it's all a grand conspiracy and when I go to the airport the guys with black suits will come and you will never hear of me again.

Can't live without you

Did I say trannying is pop, ages ago when Robbie released She's Madonna?

Basic Element: To You

God this has been playing on radio charts for weeks but I hadn't seen the video. Milla (gggfriend) says I'm like that... Err... Oh we are just like that. Except I'm not that big and hopely look a bit cuter.

Survival in Hostile Environment

God Finnish TG scene suxx. It consists of extreme TS nutcases who have hijacked all the public internet forums, throwing their depressing hatred all around. Ridiculing trannies as roleplaying weirdo HPWs and attacking any other TS who's life is ok. Giving advice like "Have you tried suicide at least 3 times? No? Don't even dream about it" for poor young possible TSes asking about transitioning. Please go kill yourself. Then there are old trannies who don't go out because there's smoke and loud music in bars. Then there are young trannies who don't go out because they're too frightened and mostly post pictures of their bare ass to wanker forums. And then there are the HPWs, natch.

Okay, I know several lovely TSs. And some outgoing trannies. My fullhearted regards to you.

I've been trying to stay somewhat on fi radar, imagining maybe there exist young trannies needing an example. I think I will give up that idea. Bollocks.

I even played with the idea of making an Angels-like forum for Finnish TGs. Problem with current forums is they don't require registration and are full of anonymous lunatic TSs and tranny haters. Nobody was interested when I asked. Bollocks. Scrap that.


I will go out again and have a party after couple hours with my tranny friend Milla, my mindblowing girlfriend, several friends of theirs and we'll have loads of fun and meet interesting people. This time I might not be too wasted, even.


Looking forward to Sparkle. I have a dream and it's called Fook Mi.

Eurovision Countdown 2

I'm professionally informed. My bet goes on:
çomme ci comme ça of Cyprus and
Natalie Barbu of Moldova

My special prize on Best Christina Aquilera/Maxi Jazz Imitation goes for
Poland. Beware of the Polish Plumber.

Or take a look at
most of them. Special sympathy goes to DJ Bobo of Swizerland and Denmark with I'm Your drama queen tonight.

Finland suxx with Hanna Pakarinen: Leave Me Alone, but I cannot symphatize more the 2nd Lovex: Anyone Anymore.

Remember I told you first.

Now I promised the mother of all parties anyone coming to Finland for Eurovision. My place being the HQ. So?

Scientific Experimentation

Even though I haven't written anything for almost a month I have 15 daily readers? You must have gotten here accidentaly, hush, go away! ;)

Sometimes too much happens in life to have time to write about it. Or it's too personal. Or both.

To summarize, I've been out to town couple of times in between. The latest night got wilder than ever, I think I exceeded all my previous performances.. Then I was in Amsterdam, also some Valerie partying there. And the party was pretty hard, consider me trying to keep things sensible. Maybe I'll post some piccies and details later.

Now I'm suffering the mother of all influenzas, having +39C for the 4th day.

Update

Destiny has a funny way
When it comes and takes all your cares away
I can't think of a single thing
Other than what a beautiful state I'm in

What on earth am I meant to do
In this crowded place there is only you
Was gonna leave now I have to stay
You have taken my breath away

Is the world still spinning around
I don't feel like I'm coming down

It's in your eyes
I can tell what you're thinking
My heart is sinking too
It's no surprise
I've been watching you lately
I want to make it with you


Kylie: It's in your eyes

There's no denial to that anymore. God I'm enchanted. But for a reason.

On other front, I was out with due Milla & Taina on Sat. People were staring ;-) And a gay friend of mine whom I've known for over 10 years came and tried to pick me up. A memorable moment, a reply to his compliments: "Hi ****, how you doing?" He hadn't recognized me. Got him off-balance, but he still tried to pick me up. "Yeah I know there exists trannies who are into women, but don't you like men just a little bit?"

Livin' La Vida Loca

She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain.
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain
like a bullet to your brain. Come On!




Whatever happened to my tranny rehab?

We went to see Dream Queens drag show on Wednesday with Milla. I had a date originating from a certain champagne party, how extraordinary! Ended up having the #1 night by far. Major show, imagine two crazy semi-pro dancers releasing the energy. Supernova. Lipstick all over the face. People staring. I mean I'm used to people wathing, but staring. They should get a life of their own instead of marveling others having one.

Then there was the show. Mostly driven by Cristal Snow. MDQ 2005 Johan looks pretty cute, I think I never saw her before. I remember they did Trendy Discotheque (I can consult how it should be done in case somebody intends to do it again!) - 'twas nice to hear my anthem anyway. Sorry Dream Queens, but I had much more interesting things at hand.

Oh and two other girls were trying to join the continuation party. What can you say when a girl comes (with her tongue in your ear most of the time) "I always get so horny when I see drag queens like you, can we come with my girlfriend with you and have sex?" Err.. Err.. "I'm so extremely sorry honey but tonight I'm fully booked." Besides, I'm not a drag queen.

I just might have met my match when it comes to dancing, partying and having fun. She's hot. And crazy. Hot and crazy.

Sharam: (My girl wants to) Party all the time

Boogie Nights

Hope you ready

Are you ready, coz i am
said im ready to party yeah
grab your coat, get your key
coz whatever your drinkin'
its on me, its on me ohh

Stand if you want to
Stare if you want to
but i got to party
i need me a party
i came here to get ya
but i can't wait
to grab me a partner
and cut a rug up tonight


Booty Luv - Boogie 2Nite (Seamus Haji Big Love Remix)
Thanks Milla for link!




I might try to write something about Saturday. Later. Hopely before next party, otherwise forget it, I'm afraid.
Summary:
-We had new mops, I was a brunette. Blondes have more fun they say. I really don't know. Could even disagree. But I do feel more comfortable as a blonde.
-Milla was seriously seriously wasted when we went there, did some naughty things
-I worked to exceed that as soon as possible
-DJ's were really really energising the dancefloor
-We made a proper proper show
-We had fun fun fun
-Destroyed Milla's home liquor stock, Moet including
-With a proper continuation party
-..and the curtain falls on the details
-watch this space
-Trannies have more fun!

Amsterdam explained

Ingredients for a good night out in Amsterdam:

1. Check out www.travestie.org and their good calendar on events and places. For hooking up with locals they have plenty of Dutch tranny profiles too, but if your Dutch is a little rusty, you're just out of luck.. Might try some international sites like tvchix or urna instead.
2. Go to Rembrantplein which seems to be the center of nightlife. Lellebel seems to be THE tranny place in town, so a good spot to start the night with drag queen bartenders and a mixed crowd.
3. Proceed to the neighbourhood LGBT & normal discos.
4. Drink, dance & have fun
5. If you're gonna walk back home, don't have too high heels and try to figure out where you're going. Amsterdam is by the way very safe city in my opinion.



So Valerie ventured into the Sin City night. Lots of fun. Unfortunately I managed to book a hotel that was on completely opposite side of city from Rembrandtplein. What the heck, the 24h public transport ticket (6,50e) is convenient. I was wondering beforehand a little the reactions I might make in a posh 5 star hotel but what the heck, I'm a hot confident chick, especially after a bottle of Shiraz. Walked through the tourist hell walking streets to catch a tram. No reactions at all. Took tram. Some older Dutch gentleman explained me something mysterious, but couldn't unfortunately speak English. Later I thought maybe I was sitting in elderly people's place or something.

I had tried to hook up with locals, but filtering out all nicks like pvc_sub_tranny_slut_in_bondage I was left with very few candidates. Why is it that trannies in Central Europe seem to be so much more into kinky action? Or is it just the ones that are in the net? Got prompt replies for my inquiries but unfortunately they couldn't make it. Thanks for the advices anyway!



After getting a little lost I found it into Lellebel. Wow. A bar the size half of my kitchen. With a quick glance the situation was like this (in the very very packed bar remember): drag barmaids (2 pieces), TVs (2 pieces), TSs (2 pieces), horny admirers (15 pieces). Very quickly ordered my VRB #1 and positioned myself next to The Other Tranny. While the turkish taxi driver behind me was probing my selection of knickers for the night, I befriended with the tranny and we found out we both like to dance and had similar plans for the night. Instant agreement of a night together. She was with a ggirl colleague who she went to pick up for a night out on town as a girl, never having been told her being a tranny. Cool. And the girl was totally cool and fun about this new revelation too.

So we went to You II LGBT club to have a good dance. Place was smallish but a proper bar/club agreed, half empty when we entered but got properly packed while we were dancing.

She wanted to continue the night in Club 80, but the queue was so apalling we retreated, and went to a club called Sinners. Despite the name it was just a normal (very hetero too) nightclub in two floors. Spent the rest of the night there. Walked back to hotel. What an idea.


Was fun. Will replay.

Did I tell you my favourite bling bling teen princess shop in Amsterdam had -70% sale?

Pink: U + UR hand

Chips n Mayo

I'm teaching the Dutch my famous How To Build Your SOA Enterprise System In Three Days And Smoke Pot Rest Of The Week. My tranny radar is on. I could swear Siobhan is on the course. The hair and all.

I'm gonna have couple of free nights in Amsterdam, and I packed Valerie along just in case. (Yeah I'm on rehab but...) Any pointers where to go? My ***** hotel states dogs under knee height are welcome. How about trannies with less than knee height skirts?

Transpocalypse II

Transpocalypse II - check.

I flew to Manchester on Friday, and it was mother of all snowstorms in Helsinki. Flight was delayed 2 hours, which is pretty remarkable. Snow isn't usually a problem in Finland, it's normal. Annoying thing was they packed the plane and cheerfully promised the flight won't be delayed, and what happens? We sat in the plane on the runway. Not even serving free drinks! Doh! Additionally I missed my train and arrived in Liverpool quite late in the evening.



Jo had checked into hotel earlier and scouted the area. We had a quick meal and prepared for the night. Went to check two places, Superstar Boudoir and Navy Bar. Both were pretty crammed, and although supposed to be LGBT places especially Boudoir's atmosphere was very straight. It has a drag queen on the door welcoming people but other than that I think we were the only trannies around. Looks like they don't have cloak rooms in Liverpool bars. Better leave jackets in the hotel tomorrow. Couple funny incidents in Navy Bar, while queueing to the ladies' a girl started looking and interviewing are we fellas? She went all excited that there were fellas in the ladies.. I got an offer for a 12 inch Brazilian but declined politely the opportunity.

Action started on Saturday. Powered by a Farmhouse breakfast we did some shopping and general walking around town. We went to sleep around 4 (poor Jo had to wake up 7.30 to feed the parking meter) and woke up moderately early so an afternoon recharge was on the agenda. Met Becky and Jane briefly at coffee as they arrived to town. Official program started at Lisbon bar with predrinks. We headed there with Clarissa who had just joined us for some hotel room warming up. I had worked most of the Finlandia vodka while preparing and was ready for take off. Or I think I had taken off already.. Our hotel and all downtown Liverpool had been transformed into a huge hen party disneyland. Trannies go pretty well with hen parties. The people arrived to Lisbon, we had a couple of drinks and chat before heading for the Chinese dinner. Dinner was nice, some 20 people around long table. Was nice to meet Pandora, Isobel, Chrissy, Penny, (Sophie and Jessica very briefly) and the friends and partners of those mentioned..



After the dinner we went to Navy Bar where the official party was supposed to continue. Place was so full it was difficult to move, and people wanted to check out something else. Ended up in some even more packed bar where it was impossible to dance. Don't remember the name but they had a drag queen DJ. Something like 2 am we called it a night (or did Jo decide again I had partied enough for the night?) and went back to hotel. According to photographic evidence I passed out in full gear, with an unfinished drink in my hand. Well, the next morning I learnt somebody had much more bizarre end of the night..



I'm in BA lounge killing time and trying to stay awake. The place is so deserted it's creepy. Becky's and Jo's blogs are blocked because they are categorized as pornography. You saucy minx.

I'm all ready for tranny rehab.

Hello Liverpool

It's Transpocalypse II, and like Jo, I've packed. In my own way - see above.

Dallas Superstars: Fine Day

Anniversary

Exactly one year ago I went out dressed first time. Yesterday was the anniversary party.



This time Milla came to my place to prepare. Arrived in Dtm at midnight and darn, no queue even at that time. When can we put our VIP cards into good use?

Check the pictures if you're interested in essentials of the night.. You know what? A lot in one year. If earlier I wouldn't have imagined I would be some day doing the things we do with Milla, now I feel I wouldn't have believed any tranny doing these things. Well, Karol Cross and April Angell, maybe ;-). I feel like Alice in Wonderland. How deep does the rabbit hole go?

While Milla was in illegal state I drove back and we had a movie incident on the motorway. All night had been a snowstorm and roads were extremely icy. Some Volvo driver decided to race us and sped up from 120km/h forward.. His car started swerving from side to side, spun several times on the motorway, slid sideways to ditch and neighbouring road and finally stopped with spinning. I anticipated his lose of control immediately, started braking, put hazards on and was ready to call 911 (well, 112 here) and run for Tranny First Aid in my high heel boots. But woah! What a lucky bastard. He didn't hit anything, didn't roll, and looks like nobody was hurt. The driver waved us that everything was ok and we continued back home. Wonder how his car managed it, though.

Hi Tak: Say Say Say

She's Madonna

Ooh! Robbie Williams in drag in his latest vid!

Robbie interview + video

I bet there will be tons of commenting on this, but I'll just say my initial impression. I think it presents trannies somewhat positively. We are pop?!? Will we (finally) see an avalanche of wannabe-trannies, because it's so trendy?

I have always liked Robbie.

PS: Doesn't he look like Mira Dee?

Mother (and Dad, Uncle, Niece, Dog and Bicycle) of all Party Reports

Well, a mere summary as usual..

1. Acclimatization

Whoever invented a three day cruise trip to Stockholm as 24h girls was a super idea? Me? Oh bugger. I had butterflies in my stomach entering the terminal, equipped with enough clothes to host a fashion show. I had already given up the idea of going from the very beginning as a girl. Helsinki-Stockholm cruise ships are well-known for teenagers getting wasted with tax free booze. How would two trannies fit there? In the end my presumptions proved to be wrong, ships were pretty relaxed, mostly older people and a lot of Russians. And besides, deep inside, I am a teenager wanting to get wasted on tax free booze. So we fit in perfectly..
Original plan included starting girlie life at dinner, but we escaped even that by taking the chance to eat at the fully booked a la carte - immediately, with no time to make up.

Stocked with a champagne and two whiskies from tax free we started making up in our luxury cabin. Couple Ave Marias and off we went to the night! First went to Perfumerie to buy new powder. Funny how 30e Dior has such a luxury feeling compared to my old 5e H&M one.. Makeup industry is magic!

Didn't make a riot there but almost: bunch of Russian teenagers entered the place and a guy said strastuite(hello!) behind me. I turned and replied him (I do speak some) and the guy and 3 girls froze and stared mouths open. Then they started smiling widely and making a lot of noise. We got compliments and everybody wanted to be photographed with us.
Please let me keep my theory that from behind they didn't identify us and thought we were Russians. Russian women dress and make up a lot more saucier than Finnish so it could be. And as Mila earlier reported, average Russians have never met any trans people and have very open minded and interested attitude when they meet one. Well our encounter was very positive for sure. Later the night we were always waving and shouting when we met the cutie Russian girls around the boat. Gave one girl my Valerie card so if you read this, hello, was very nice to meet you!!!




Next we went to check the atmosphere at show nightclub, ship's main venue. There were plenty of people watching the band and waiting for the midnight show. Place was dark so we were not getting much attention, only a couple long looks. Had some drinks and walking around, but pretty boring. Went walking around the boat but things were pretty quiet. Time for party so we ascended to the top deck disco. At first atmosphere seemed like stiff and not promising much for the night. Grabbed drinks and went sitting. We played with a mobile phone we had found a little earlier. Sent SMS to "Mom" telling "Mom, I've lost my mobile!!!" which caused her to call us very puzzled :) As there was some nice dance music coming I didn't bother about the atmosphere any more and we conquered the dance floor.
Ending up dancing there a couple hours. A bit trashed, we decided to retire to cabin before closing time as we had two more party nights ahead of us anyway.

I successfully recruited Milla to take some lingerie shots in the cabin. We were laughing that after posting those to flickr, trying to explain being a normal, heterosexual man is a futile effort. Strange what things are extremely funny wasted at 4 am. Like a pillow fight, which I tried to have but Milla passed out. It's not fun for long alone so I soon joined.



2. Global Warming

After a breakfast in cabin we had most chaotic dressing, making up and packing for Stockholm. Gosh I remembered one more thing I hate about cruise ships: they arrive in nonspeakable early hours, like 9 am, and then they try to throw you immediately out of the place. Trannies with hangover and beard, who just went to sleep couple hours earlier don't get mercy..

So we were out in Sweden in full girlie outlook! First time in normal situation, full daylight. Yay!

Took taxi from harbor to hotel and tried to book in. No luck, we were gonna wait for 3 hours for availability. Obviously time for sightseeing & shopping. Our hotel, Scandic Sergelplaza was optimally situated in the very heart of the city. Had a walk along Drottningsgatan to King's Castle, the standard Via Dolorosa of all hangover cruise guests. Weather was a bit harsh and we decided we were not so much into sightseeing after all, and went for a latte instead. Funny incident, a middle-East guy comes from the kitchen and wants to talk with us. He was extremely interested why we dress and are our boobs real.. Funny guy!







Did some shopping in small boutiques and found a nice dress. First time shopping and trying out clothes in normal shops! Yay! Walked to a lingerie shop Flirt Fashion Milla wanted to check out. Then I realized a must visit: H&M Stockholm! :) Shopping there until we almost really dropped. Well melted at least.

Back to hotel, and we decided an afternoon nap would be like putting money into bank. A bank where you debit on all these tranny nights. At hotel entrance the waiting taxi drivers that had gathered for a chat were whistling for us seriously.. A free ride tonight?

After that hard earned nap we called for room service, ate and had a bath (not together you silly!). And killed a Moet&Chandon. And started working with the two teenager whiskies. It was gonna be serious party time! We had wlan in the room so we uploaded some pics to flickr and tried to cause some stir in Finnish tranny chat.



We were going to Lino Club which has a very bling website claiming it to be the number #1 gay/lessie club in town. The place? Three smallish separate rooms with own bars and music. Beginning of the night was quiet but somewhere around 2 am it got packed. Didn't sight any trannies. Had couple of chats with Swedish guys, but it was almost remarkable how little interest we got from people. Could be because it was indeed gay/lessie club? Usually the craziest contacts I've had have been with bi and hetero girls who just ventured to LGBT world for fun.. Cannot help comparing the place to our home turf Dtm, and boy, are we lucky! It's a super place for having a party. Lino was ok but not much happening. So we stocked with drinks and danced the night away on the floor.



I had tried to get some Swedish tranny inside tips, but it had been a futile effort. Hallå Sweden? Where are all the trannies? There are not many in the net, a lot less who answer mail, and we met nobody in Stockholm. Judging from people's reactions trannies are not an everyday sight in Sweden either. My world is shaken. After all we Finns are convinced all Swedes are gay :) Ah the love and hate of neighbours..

Somehow we managed to get back to hotel 4 am, where we continued the party. We were so trashed we were mostly laughing at each other. Called for room service again but our order never materialized?! I swear I did give the room number right. Although I've no idea what I ordered.






3. Overheating

Waking up I didn't have to look in the mirror to tell that I still had my makeup on. Our lights had been effectively switched off. Lucky I found myself in the bed. And it was my bed. New day, new life. Bath with a whisky HOT, hotel breakfast NOT. Gosh I'm really getting alcoholic. Again we had to dress, make up and pack 'til 12 to check out. Chaotic, but routine. How come the desk clerk greeted us cheerfully "Yes I rememember you from yesterday" ?!?

Went walking out again, but our feet did not take us far. Sweden was embracing for extremely hard winter storm, and weather was accordingly. Saw an advertisement for a Thai buffet, which didn't require long negotiation. Spent couple of hours eating Swedish Thai buffet and drinking Thai beer. I tried to order in Thai but the waitress was out of business. Dunno if she was a Thai after all, although it's very common for Thais to be totally unable to understand foreigners, however perfect Thai they speak. Went then to a net cafe to surf with a latte. Tried to cause even more stir in Finnish tranny chat. Strange how the whole chat gets quiet after a couple of comments about our adventures... Well not strange, really. Too many wuzzies, if you ask me. If you tell them you've just rocked a Swedish nightclub, got totally, seriously wasted, went sightseeing and shopping and ask for advice how to spend the frickin' last 3 hangover hours waiting for the boat to leave, you have zero response.. Am I now earning a Bad Ass Tranny status?!?






So seriously, to hotel to have a final GT. Caught a taxi to terminal. With her hairstyle and big smile for trashed trannies, the taxi driver was definitely a lumberjack dyke. Didn't spot her chainsaw though. Into the boat and cabin checkin. I got a feeling It's happening again. Actually I like passed out recharged momentarily while Milla went to tax free.. Ordering more coke to go with the 12 y.o. Glenfiddich. Actually I think we had a nap again. You know, the hardest thing about being a 24/7 tranny is shaving. With normal beard growth, you have to clean up twice a day and shave to look acceptable. So errmm. After Milla provided the mixer we started destroying the rest of our stock. The Ultimate Party Tranny Test #2: how does your make up look like if you do it after respectable amount of refreshments? Dior Splash? (Dare you ask about Test #1?)

So we reproduced most of the first night's program: went to Night Club to see the midnight show, had drinks, got bored, went walking around ship - were hungry and went to eat some - and went to the top deck disco.



This time I didn't have any inhibitions, so went straight to bar, had some drinks and waited for good music. The bartenders were in the party immediately, couple of lovely lady ones. After a moment two Norwegian guys entered the place and locked on us like heat-seeking missiles. OMG. Got compliments all over, the other one grabbed my vodka red bull and tried to impress me with his drink-spinning skills which resulted in a vodka red bull suit and a tranny heading to dance floor. The other one was not so wasted and was actually rather sympathic, Milla was chatting long time with him while I was warming up the dance floor. I do think my performance caused the bartenders to have the time of their lives. At least the most fun that night. Hmm.. Especially over two promilles, I have a serious aspiration for dance floor domination... So we danced and I danced and we drinked and I danced. Grrr the evil DJ refused to play any Basshunter! It's cheesy but you cannot have a party in Sweden without Basshunter! And all of a sudden the place was closed. Nyt jo? Normipäivä! Went to eat again after disco closed. Rule number #1 of Better Mornings - don't pass out without eating. As it was our last night I totally refused to go to sleep, and kept playing music and drinking (and forcing Milla to drink, even she was trying to get sleep) the remains of our stock until 6 am ++.

Woke up two hours later to pack and exit to Normal Life. OMG. Well we did play with the idea of going straight to Dtm and continue the party. Realism won, (un?)fortunately.


This is a true story. Only one liver was harmed while writing this, two while realizing the scenes. Life and trannying should not be taken too seriously. I'm not taking particular pride in the amount of alcohol consumed, but that's the way I'm wired when it's party time. I'm Finnish, after all. We produce the world's best vodka and all citizens are required to take part in marketing. As I was joking with Milla, we should sell online webcast of our partying. Lot of action. Anyone subscribing?


Let me just remind you where it all began.. Pay TV: Trendy Discotheque
Swedish electroschlager!

Killing time

Hälsningar från Stockholm. We're in internet cafe with Milla, killing the 3 hours before boat leaves back to Helsinki. Terrible hangover. Sweden is embracing to strong winter storm, people were told to stay indoors. Now hope our mops don't fly away.



I will try to tell more about the trip. Later. It ain't over yet!!!

You have been warned

Stockholm Beware!!!

September: Satellites

You know Sweden?

Welcome to Sweden!

Ok. The Finnish midsummer is just the same except we don't have the pole. We're dancing around the grill.

Ett-två-tre

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Valerie Awards 2006

It's time to draw conclusions about 2006.

It has been an overwhelming year for me. In January I started going out, ending up being the party tranny for the latter half of the year. With a VIP card to nation's #1 LGBT night club. I was nervous, unsure of what I'm doing and 2006 made me a confident girl loved by all. Internationally. (Okay there was this one drunk Finnish girl who didn't like my hair). Internet, namely flickr and blogs are marvelous things. Big hug to all friends and contacts in the net who've been giving positive feedback all year. Biting the bullet and going to Sparkle in June was one of the best things ever happened to me. I have to thank two UK trannies, Jo and Becky for the instant acceptance and respect we've had. Your friendship has been one of my most valuable assets. Also originally the year before, finding Becky's blog and the rest of UK scene from there, was the trigger to drive me out and experiment with real looks. To know that trannying can be fun.

Workwise I shouldn't complain. I have total freedom being my own boss, clients tell me I'm irreplaceable and I'm asked to work around Europe. And still. I have this itching I've been working on my field enough. It's pretty boring. Any open positions for a tranny party-a-gogo?

Unfortunately on personal front the year was a rollercoaster ending with a crash and burn. Had to get that off my chest with the previous post. It can be a pain for my loved ones but I'm a wild animal, getting anxious and frustrated feeling caged. 2007 will have a definite positive edge. For me, any change is better than nothing happening at all.

But where was I? Oh yeah, the..

Valerie Awards 2006

Best Tranny Event: Sparkle, Manchester UK
Best Tranny City: Manchester, UK
Best Tranny Organisation: UK Angels
Best Tranny Blog: Becky's Web
Best Tranny Publication: Alice Novic: Alice In Genderland
Best Tranny Bar: DTM, Helsinki
Best Drag Queen Show: Les Femmes, Finland
Best Tranny Clothes Supplier: H&M
Best Tranny Foundation: Joe Blasco
Best Tranny Mascara: L'Oreal Volume Shocking
Best Tranny Drink: Vodka Red Bull





Have an energetic 2007!!!!!!!

Primal Scream: Country Girl

I will.

Finnishing the year

Had my New Year party with Milla yesterday. Need I say I got seriously wasted?

Highlights of the night: I almost got into a girlie rock band! The band girl was all for it but manager girl wasn't so it didn't happen. Had I had my Hello Kitty photo with me things could be different. The manager complimented on Milla's "librarian looks" which Milla wasn't too happy about. But it must have been a compliment as she looked like a librarian from the 50's herself. Oh and then there was this Betty Page looking supacute girl too. Again i tried to buy drinks for the bartenders. Again I was completely sure I've lost my handbag only to find it from somewhere. After the party we went to eat kebab in the crowded neighborhood restaurant, and nobody blinked at us. Today I found out I had been given wrong jacket on leaving. I don't know how that poor girl spent her night but I had her iPod, camera and home keys for sure. Sorry.



But the girl band. I'll have that as my goal for 2007.

Interrupt in Standard Programming

My memories of UK are my sister studied there, as a teenager I came to see her BA graduation and bought my first own computer from Selfridge's. Then nothing, I was traveling all around the world but not UK.
Mostly because of trannying during the last year I've been there four times. Seems like next year I'll be there at least the same. Last time I was working there for a week, with so called normal people as colleagues and clients.

Stop moaning. Your country is cool. It's multicultural and accepting. Maybe even unique when it comes to trannying. Good mid-way when it comes between Nordic (overtaxed) wellfare societies and no-social-security DIY countries. You have frickin good standard of living, if you study and work hard enough. Same job here you drive a beamer there a Porsche. Good midway between cold and hot climates. (Ok maybe you're not prepared to either extreme but who prohibited you from preparing?) Virtually everybody speaks your native language. We have to study two foreign to get started. You have active part in the world and take positions in world affairs. Your press is the highest ranked (and I don't mean the yeallow press!). And you have Richard Attenborough. And Dr. Who. And 007.

And you have the coolest club culture. I realized it last time I was in Manchester. All they were playing were frickin Brit dance/club hits, and it was uninterrupted fun.

Just why do you think reindeers can fly so Santa can come on your roofs? And how would he fit your chimneys? And why would he put pressies into socks? SOCKS? On Christmas Day? He comes from the door and gives them personally, on Chirstmas Eve. Get real.
Otherwise, I love UK. Well ok the two taps freak me out. And the strange electric plug.

As an officer, I can understand reasons for driving on the left side. Although they have been outdated for 100 years.

It was no joke I said after Sparkle I'm looking for a job in UK. Just have to get rid of my accent. Will work for food (and clothes from H&M). And the Porsche.


PS: I registered valerie_s_ts@no.spam. It's a joke alright after a long chat with Milla and Mr. Smirnoff (specially long and personal!), but still... Should I start worrying?

Tiesto: Dance 4 Life

Actually, in name of cultural exchange I give you Redrama: Street Music. Finnish hip hop from Helsinki, the city I live in.

Have a Cheeky Christmas Night!

So I was asked to come work in Manchester for the week before Christmas. Couldn't resist as it would mean full access to the Village bars on company expenses.

For Wednesday I had checked the local tranny society Northern Concord were having their weekly meeting. Good starting for the night, maybe able to find some new party friends. They were very warm and welcoming - and immediately trying to recruit me. Sorry, it was only my second time in Manchester ever, so maybe not realistic :-) Night was a little quiet as just the week before they had their great Christmas ball. Anyway I was able to hook up with a bunch of girls who were going for dancing later on. First and foremost Marolyn and June (who was actually fom London), two fun and good looking girls. Changed places to Napoleon's which we missed with Jo in the last Sparkle due to overwhelming queue. Naps seems to be the #1 place for trannies in the village. The atmosphere was a bit like Way Out Club, if you ask me. After an hour or two of drinks and dancing we went with June to Cruz 101, a gay club popular with students to dance the night off. The party was getting hotter all the time but Cinderella had a working day so I had to escape back to hotel and managed to get 3 hours of sleep. Needless to say I was a total zombie at work.



Friday night was reserved for partying, but unfortunately all the trannies seemed like staying home for Christmas. Not me! So I headed to Canal Street and AXM bar. Plan was to later try out the lesbian bars Coyotes and Vanilla. AXM was clearly just a starter for the night, and worse, no trannies around. After couple of drinks I all of a sudden had company and continued with part of the plan, the rest totally unplanned. And err... err... Ended up walking out of some hotel 6 am to get home, pack and take a taxi to airport. Oh a zombie day again! Had no problems sleeping in the plane whatsoever.

To celebrate the second coming of Cheeky Girls I'll link to
Cheeky Girls: Have a Cheeky Christmas. Also because lately I've been called several times a cheeky girl. Must be because of the accent?!? ;-) - Cheeky Cheeky!

Have a Cheeky Christmas Night all!

I have a party in my house: Viisi Millaa, viisi sataa

Dana: Cinque Milla. I'd be ready to change places any day. If you'd ask me to make a show today, it would be this one.

Rebirth

Only after opening the door to my room I realized how much I'd experienced. Valerie wouldn't exist without Sparkle. Manchester. The Place. Jo Becky Jane Fiona Canal Street Jessica Sophie Vicky Bella Dr Who Veuve Clicquot Tesco Express Debenhams Alice Kim April Leah Laura Siobhan VIP hot baths Lamb's navy rum UK dance classics. Pink lingerie. Lesbian bar. AXM The View Coyote. Vodka Red Bull was invented here. And all the rest who went unmentioned.

I'm an UK Angel. Forever. Because.

Now what can I do for Sparkle 2007?

I overheard being described as "very cute" by a girl client on the phone. I was asked how come I speak so fluently (I don't!) so I guess I'm doing ok. Guy from Poland asked when I'm giving the advanced course in UK, he wants to sign up. Now wish I have more gigs to UK.

Euphoria

Valerie is on pilgrimage to her birthplace. I desperately have to find a plug adapter to report you back. Battery is finishing. Life is good. Codeword: Taps with two handles. Lesbian bars. Lamb's Navy Rum.

Eurovision Countdown

Did you know Eurovision 2007 tickets went on sale this Monday? Thanks to Mr. Lordi, in Finland. Were you queueing? W00t? Anyway, any tranny coming, I will provide for food and shelter. Guaranteed.

Very rarely I have a feeling that I have totally missed something, but today Husky Rescue beat me. First of all, anybody coming to Finland (like Eurovision next April or May(whatever!)), check their Nightless Night as a primer. Sorry, you have to be Finnish to understand all the layers of irony contained. Besides, the video could be shot in my my backyard garden party. If I had any. Sounds included. So welcome.

Anyway, Finnish music is a lot more than Lordi and I'm happy to promote some. The original reason was seeing their "City Lights" which is a Valerie song, unfortunately not online that I know. But then their New Light of Tomorrow kicks me in the belly.

I'm sorry I'm getting more and more Fairly Odd. Last week I destroyed my 5 years' stock of vodka, red wine and champagne. Although I'm not everyday stereotypical Finn, I am when it comes to the basics. I feel like home drinking vodka and getting ubermelancholic watching/listening to sad songs that sync with my mental state.

It's not yet the time to draw conclusions about 2006, but it's been a rollercoaster. I am sure 2007 will be better.

If you take the effort to read my blog, go watch the videos. At least you will not find them anywhere else. And they are essential if you want the Total Valerie Experience (tm). Don't know why, but I'm communicating best through music and visual media. Well if a picture is worth 1.000 words a video is at least worth 24.000 words a second. And then the sound, 96.000 words a second more? Don't know if anyone's understanding though...

Manchester revisited

Yay! I'll be in Manchester working for the week before Christmas. Fancy a party, anyone? Any information on possible entertainment appreciated!

The Zutons: Valerie

Thanks Joanna for sending me the link ages ago..

Keeping the faith

Tai Oratai - Kau Jai Gun Now


Later, some psychiatrist will see a consistent pattern in my posts...

Halo

This will be my most personal post. Ever.
Depeche Mode: Halo
It's all in the lyrics.

Showhat

Yesterday was party time at dtm. Doubly so, SMFR Finnish Independence Day (6.12.) fetish preparty upstairs and Jarkko & Osku Showhat drag show on main stage.



Many have said Jarkko & Osku are the best drag queens in Finland, having even performed in the presidential Independence day festivities in the palace, so I was looking forward to it. And was disappointed. The show is ok, but for several reasons didn't spark me. Main reason is it is done for mainstream audience. The characters they portray are always exaggarated, put too much humour into, and partly even ridiculed. Ridiculing feminitity is one field of doing drag, but it's not into my taste. This way the Joe Normal can laugh at the show without having second thoughts is it okay to have fun watching men in womens' clothing. They don't put the full effort into really portraying the characters. The show is too long and repetitive. The ninth standard playback performance of a random female popstar doesn't really give much added value. They had some nice features like "Miss Intelligence", four Paris Hiltons on stage and then Pink coming to perform the Stupid Girl. The overall theme was Eurovision, so Lordi was featured as well, but it was mainly a joke too long.. They have been giving the show at cruise ships and casino dinners, so it is meant to be enjoyed while drinking, chatting and eating with friends at the table. Doesn't work in a packed nightclub with standing crowd. Sorry Jarkko & Osku, but I wasn't impressed. Les Femmes stays #1.



So the actual party? The SMFR party upstairs was better than usual, maybe my grown self-confidence and the fact some people start to remember us helps too. Had some nice and funny chats, a lovely female domme (who's into trannies) was shocked to find I wasn't obedient at all. But what can you do when you own more whips and walk higher heels than she? To compensate I donated Milla for some spanking. And they were enjoying it all...

Mostly weird (very normal youngsters) audience on main floor, looked like a elementary school class trip. Normal audience usually equals less exciting party, because they quite don't know how to relate to trannies when they have their first encounter of their lives. At the end of the night I hooked up with an ...interesting bunch. Some Finnish girls, Asian guys and a ladyboy from.. I thought Brazil and talked my brasileiro with her, but was obviously too wasted because I didn't first realize she was Thai. Well then I talked Thai with her. (No it's not a joke). But Thais don't have curly braided hair so she was actually trying to pose as Brazilian, quite usual manouver for Thai (ladyboys) abroad. Had invitation for some crazy continuation party, but as I realized they were a bit too much into drugs I decided otherwise. And my take-me-home service Milla agreed strongly.



Playing: Justin: Sexy Back

Something new

Saturday was surreal, almost. I went with Milla to dtm as a boy. I didn't plan to go out but was in town, called Milla and things lead to another.. Milla told she felt like she was on a date or something. Well for me it was actually quite normal, except this time I could really dance some show-off.



That's my baby. I don't have to only listen to Dana from youtube, now I can play too. If you don't behave I'll sing. At your place.

Show must go on

Funny, today I was performing in same private party as Miss Divet. As a boy, you fools! Saw Divet's Drag Queen show just few weeks ago at dtm, and tonight she rocked the house. Judging from the screams audible to dressing room at least..

Tomorrow (or actually today) I have a theme party I toyed about going as Dana International. Maybe throwing a drag-queenesque show, even. That would have equaled as going out. I feel little bit disappointed, but as many things currently suck, I just don't have the energy to consider how it would en up, let alone how to do it.

Right now: Dana International/Diva (dance mix)
I cannot understand how I missed Dana when she was on peak of her popularity. I wonder where she is now?

Oh and I have a new fabulous toy! I'll post a picture when I get a new battery to my frickin' dead laptop.

Get drunk and write something deep

Becky just gave me homework: "Get drunk and write something deep". Well I'm wasted already (God somebody has to correct all these typing mistakes). Don't worry, I have a week off, I've been working hard for some time already, so I do have the right to be on holiday, both body and mind..

The comment came because I told her sometimes I'd like to share something deep. You know, I'm only telling "Went out, got wasted, had fun". With some pictures, it's fun, but sooner or later the joke wears out. Now the problem is, Finland is a small country. I'm not publicly out. I'm not afraid to get outed per se but I have public roles I prefer to keep separate from my tranny side. So I'm really carefull not to tell anything too personal where people could connect me too easily. Lot of people know me, but then I think actually they wouldn't care too much. They're actually quite cool bunch. Maybe I'm just worried too much. Maybe I should do something? Problem is I don't know of anybody in Finland who went public, and what happened. Well I've been giving my real name and phone number away to nice girls, so it's not a total secret either.

Now where was I?

Something deep. Is something personal as good? I'm out trannying and partying because I need happiness in my life. First of all, I used to have a good bunch of friends with whom we had incredible fun. Then everybody got 30, a wife and children. And suddenly nobody of them was doing anything anymore. I just can't understand how they turned so boring. Secretly I believe they will break out of their life routine when they're 50, but all the while I'm just quiet, smiling and accepting the once-a-year dinner invitation. Well first I wasn't quiet, and lost one good friendship. Then I learned.

Now secondly I'm vaguely in a similar situation. And I'm not totally enjoying it. Getting dressed, going out as Valerie - somebody totally different, is a liberating total break from the life routine that becomes too heavy sometimes. I can be without any background, any inhibitions, any worries. Just me, having fun. Getting wasted is a catalyst. I might earn VIP cards, but I know this is something that can't last. Maybe.

But in the mean time, Valerie loves everybody and everybody loves Valerie, and life is just incredible unbeatable unimaginable fun.

With famous words: Enjoy this post, I might delete will edit it tomorrow morning.

Meet Miss Bitch

My tits they have names. Last night two girls I was talking with named the left one Mitch and the right one Bitch. I know because this morning I found a 50e note where they had written it as a reminder, and Milla kindly explained what on earth it was about. Other than that, I'm afraid you have to ask Milla what happened when we went to Trans-Helsinki party at DTM yesterday. I was seriously wasted. Hello to everybody who had fun with me, apologies to everybody who didn't, even though I tried hard. I'll never drink again. Or at least I'll never fall in stairs again.

Miss Drag Queen 2007

So we went to see Miss Drag Queen 2007 competition in DTM with Milla. We had even invested in advance tickets. Problem was, it was a Wednesday night, middle of a hectic working week.. And as I'm unable to keep off VRB, it would be a rather hard working morning the morning after - but who cares, when there's a party?!?



We missed the deadline for pre-ticket entrance, but proudly overtook the respectable queue and what happened? The doorman showed us the VIP door, "but ok, if you want you can go there (normal entrance)"... Ooooh. Man, I feel like a VIP girl. Now I'm just waiting for the VIP card!

But so there was a competition with 11 contestants. It was the first time I saw a DQ comp, and I have to admit I was a bit surprised it wasn't very high level. Winner, NicoLa was definitely the most energetic performer, but many were not so special. When the comp started I was definitely feeling I should be on the stage... Watch for 2008..



Then it was party time and being a tranny in LGBT disco looked like paying off again: we ended up having a major dance party with some chinese girls, this time. And others. And I was told I was The Choice of the Audience - beating all the contestants on stage. Now that's a compliment!

After couple of hours sleep Thursday morning was not very glorious.. Now I have two problems: what to wear tomorrow for DTM party, and should I go as Dana International to a big Eurovision party with my long-time friends who have no idea I'm a tranny. Now that's a challenge.

Les Nuits Fauves

Time for reportage. Getting rid of the old headache, starting new with a bottle of red. Went last night to SMFR's fetish Halloween party in Kaisaniemi. I helped Milla with a tartan mini and cutie socks to create two almost identical schoolgirls. The party was quite nice, this time in proper restaurant so first of all there was a dj and music, and a bar. Two essential ingredients for a successfull night out. Mixed selection of people (good!) - half usual black pvc/leather fetish costumes, but also many Halloween style special costumes. Our schoolgirl effort was good, and we found an ultra cute girl who was going to the same school! Unbelievable!



Johanna was there (of course, what would stop her?) and introduced the legendary B.B. to me. Now B.B. is something I want to write properly later, but put briefly, she is the mother of all Finnish trannies, a boxing (and chess!) champion from already the 60's who went to army in mini and thigh high boots when it was illegal to pose as opposite sex and transvestites were either put to jail or mental hospitals. Actually I had met her briefly in toilet queue a moment earlier, but didn't know who she was. She was wearing a nazi officer costume. Yikes! Me the schoolgirl was a little afraid of her so I just mentioned things about bratwurst and lederhosen, the only German words I know..

But such is life, it all felt a bit too stable so I persuaded Milla to change place to DTM bar. Finland has it's own peculiarity, all popular bars just so have to have a queue in front of them. So we ended up queueing to dtm something like half an hour. In schoolgirl minis, in -10 oC.. But okay it was worth it, had lots of fun, made show, got to know new people. Looks like the bartenders remember us already. Is it good or bad?


I don't know if my subconscious mind is working, but Cyril Collard's Les Nuits Fauves has been going on my mind. Long ago it was one of my favourite movies. Don't get me wrong, my life is not quite that crazy, but somehow I cannot help thinking about it.